I was watching the other night a stand-up comedy routine by an African-American comedian.
She talked about how when she was growing up when she and a sibling would misbehave, her mother would scold them by saying, “stop it, white people are looking at you.”
She went on to say that since Barak Obama became President, she feels a little less inhibited and worried if any one is looking at her.
I couldn’t help but think of her routine recently when once again I experienced yet another act of thoughtless arrogance.
The person standing in front of me last Friday night at the local grocery store was a young, well dressed man. He was wearing a kippah and yes he was having a rather loud conversation on his cellphone. He was buying flowers for Shabbat as well as other items.
He didn’t validate the existence of the African American employee scanning and bagging groceries. He automatically slid the credit card into the card reader, turned his back on the lady when she said’ “Thank you, have a good day,” and walked out of the store.
I wanted to say, don’t do that, a black person is looking at you.
But what I wanted to say is next time we wonder why people hold certain ill feelings about Jews, we don’t have to search far for answers.
If this was the first and only time I’d seen this, I wouldn’t be writing this. But it’s not. I’ve seen young Jewish women, students, teens, all of them going through these grocery checkout lines like they are above the person that is serving them.
When it came my turn last Friday, I knew from her eyes what the checkout lady was thinking. I said thank you, paid attention to her and guess what, my phone was vibrating away. It could wait.
Several years ago, I interviewed a young woman, a senior at Beth Tfiloh Community High School. She wore a kippah just like the boys.
I asked her why.
She told me that it reminded her of her obligation to do mitzvot. Because she was from Harrisburg, Pa., she wanted people not necessarily familiar with Judaism, to understand that the person with the kippah holding the door for the elderly person was a Jew. That the person allowing another customer in a store to go ahead of them in line was a Jew. That the person who said, “have a good day, and thank you,” was a Jew.
Point is, we can study in our scholarly texts all day. We can argue over the most difficult points of Torah and Talmud. If we treat another human being by ignoring them or withholding a positive word, we really haven’t learned anything.
This morning at Dunkin Donuts, I held the door for three people. Two of them were teenage female students wearing their uniforms. The third was a black woman holding her baby. Guess who said thank you?
You don’t even have to ask.

I have had the exact same experience when shopping. I am amused and shocked then, when people in the Jewish community turn up their noses and act disgusted when they have to deal with ‘the goyishe velt’. By the way, I have been in many of the boys’ Jewish day schools and in many Baltimore City Public Schools. Guess which kids consistently hold the door open for me (as opposed to slamming it in my face)?

Such a wonderful point - so beautifully expressed, B’H!

I make it a point to greet checkout line cashiers and other store employees as warmly as I can, and to always say thank you, especially at 7 Mile Market, where Lord knows the opportunity for non Jewish employees to feel ill will toward Jews is high. Maybe it’s just my Southern upbringing.