He officiated at many weddings, including my own.
He officiated at many bar and bat mitzvahs, including my wife’s.
He officiated at my sister-in-law’s wedding. He also asked that same sister-in-law out on a date. He was 52. She was 21.
Okay, but that was the rabbi, well, being the rabbi.
None of us longtime Jewish Baltimoreans needed to be reminded that there was always a wink or a permissible zone of conduct not reserved for many others that we permitted with him.
His reputation as a hugger, a kisser, and a ladies’ man happened in public view. We thought it was cute. He’s 50 and he still likes the girls.
But then it became he’s 60 and he still likes the girls. Then, 70. He was 85 when he was convicted for fourth-degree sexual assault.
Is it cute now?
Let it not be ignored that we allowed this to happen.
One victim told me that she begged her parents that she not have to go into the rabbi’s office when she was 14. She thought he was “creepy.”
When she returned to her mother and told her the rabbi kissed her on the lips and touched her, she was asked to keep it quiet. The rabbi didn’t ask her to keep it quiet. Mom did. He knew something. The young teen’s word wouldn’t be believed.
This was the rabbi who married her parents. He eulogized her grandparents. He was the rabbi who wasn’t going to pass judgment on their religious practice.
We receive phone calls and e-mails, some from women who see his conviction as a vindication for a secret that’s tormented their lives.
We also receive comments from people who call the reporting of this crime, and possible others, “one-sided,” and that the rabbi has done so much for so many over the years.
Maybe all along, through the years, we were a little too one sided in our past reporting of the rabbi. A Baltimore Jewish Times cover story lists all of the wonderful accomplishments and contributions he has made to this community. That’s not the only story like that over the years.
We didn’t ask him then about difficult topics, such as, there is this community feeling that you have been a bit too familiar with the ladies; yet we knew well about the “big elephant in the room.”
There’s also this discussion focused on the women who bring about the allegations. Some people have all but compared their victimizations to acts of prostitution, like they deserved it. Others pretty much have told us that these women led the rabbi on. Maybe a person freezes when they feel someone they trust place a hand on their breast without consent.
All of this might have been prevented. We enabled it to get this far. The smnirks, the eyeball-rolling, the comments. Instead, maybe we’ve had spiritual leaders who, on one hand, do great things, but who maybe, just maybe need help. And because seemingly nothing was being done, there was more reward than risk. He knew that. After all, who was going to tell? Certainly nobody in the Jewish community. Perhaps that’s why one victim, who isn’t Jewish, felt unencumbered to press charges. She doesn’t have to go home to this community. Her parents were not married by him. Her grandparents weren’t buried by him.
Another longtime community rabbi, when asked about these recent allegations, perhaps said it best: “This is an old story. It’s a story that is part of the culture of this community. In some ways, it was true of Rabbi [Ephraim] Shapiro as well.” The late Rabbi Shapiro allegedly molested hundreds of boys and girls while spiritual leader of Agudas Achim and then the Talmudical Academy.
“The norms of our society have changed over the years,” said the community rabbi. “One would expect the norms of behavior of an individual would change to adapt to the new rules and, if they don’t, then they have to pay the price. He should have been smart enough o know that behavior which might have been acceptable 20 years ago isn’t anymore. He has to go to every person he hurt and ask them for forgiveness.”

LIKE MANY OTHER SEXUAL PREDATORS THIS RABBI SHOULD HAVE GONE TO JAIL.  “ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR 25 YEARS AGO?”  SPEAK PLAINLY, IT WAS CRIMINAL.
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RELIGIOUS INSTITUTIONS SHOULD DO MORE TO PROTECT CHILDREN

by Sister Maureen Paul Turlish, Victims’ Advocate

It is outrageous to read that the Roman Catholic Church and the Orthodox Jewish Community are pooling their resources, not to better protect children and give all victim/survivors of childhood sexual abuse access to justice, but rather to keep inadequate and discriminatory laws on the books which give more protection to sexual predators than to their victims.

Such an action certainly fails the test of morality!

The sexual abuse of a minor is an egregious sin, a human tragedy and a major social problem that demands comprehensive solutions but, most importantly, it is a crime committed against the innocent. 

It has been accurately described by Cardinal William Keeler, the former archbishop of Baltimore, Maryland, as murder of the soul and the egregious nature of such crimes demands that there should be no statutes of limitation, period.

Childhood sexual abuse is a major epidemic going on in our country, a pandemic if one considers it in its worldwide proportions so it is hard to believe, in light of recent statements in this newspaper, that we continue to have churchmen representing various religious denominations who actually oppose the removal of statutes of limitation in regard to the sexual abuse of children.

It is unconscionable that any synogogue, church or sect would hold fast to a belief that sexual predators and abusers should not be held accountable along with their enablers and that they would support the present accommodation in law that gives more protection to individuals who have been accused of the sexual abuse of children than to the victims themselves.

Window legislation, as it relates to civil statutes, is the single most important factor in holding sexual predators and any enabling institutions or individuals, if they exist, accountable whether they are religious denominations, hospitals, schools or scouts.

In the case of New York, a one year civil window just to gain access to the courts is the barest of minimums and yet religious leaders oppose it.

How can the Catholic dioceses of New York state deny the rightfulness of extending statutes of limitation in regard to the protection of children?

This is not a matter belonging to what our church calls the “deposit of faith,” and leaving aside the matter of mortal sin for the moment, the sexual abuse of children is a matter of criminal behavior, not to be relegated to the venial status of a lesser weakness.

On the basis of what is known today about the obstacles impeding a victim’s ability in coming forward, present laws covering the sexual abuse of children are totally inadequate.

Why isn’t the archdiocese distributing postcards for the members of the Catholic community to sign and send to their legislators in Albany to support the complete removal of statutes of limitation going forward in regard to the sexual abuse of children, criminally and civilly? 

Why isn’t the New York Catholic Conference lobbying to protect children as would befit the Holy See’s signatory status to the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child?

Window legislation is not “anti” any particular religion or institution but it is anti-rapist and child molester.

It forces records, if they exist and have not been destroyed, to be made available in a court of justice and hopefully into the public venue as well.

We know that pedophiles, rapists, molesters and child abusers come from all walks of life and that the sexual abuse of children happens primarily in the home so it is patently unconscionable for religious denominations and their leadership to protect and enable sexual predators by refusing to support changes in the laws that would hold both the perpetrators and their enablers accountable.

No child ever deserves to be raped, sodomized, molested, abused or trafficked across state lines or international borders for purposes of sexual exploitation.  Such acts, especially when committed by a parent, family member, doctor, teacher, trusted minister, rabbi, imam or priest are crimes and the perpetrators should be treated as the criminals they are.

The Orthodox Jews and the hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church should be coming together to better protect our children from these vicious individuals and those who may have protected them.

Is it about money?

The outrageous claim that Assemblywoman Margaret M. Markey’s bill A2596, known as the Child Victims Act, is “designed to bankrupt the Catholic Church,” as claimed by Dennis Poust, a spokesman for the New York State Catholic Conference is simply beyond the pale. 

Such disinformation promulgated by the institutional church is as disingenuous as it is outrageous.

One needs to keep in mind that in 2007 the Archdiocese of Los Angeles agreed to a 660 million dollar settlement, the church’s largest payout to victim/survivors of clergy sexual abuse while also paying millions of dollars to their own lawyers, lobbyists and to the California Catholic Conference to oppose settling.  At the same time the archdiocese built and paid for a magnificent new cathedral that any city in the world would be proud to showcase and they did it without ever mentioning bankruptcy.

In the New Testament Gospel of St. Matthew, Jesus says, “whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea,” (18:16).

Where is it found that Jesus said justice for a child was dependent on the price tag?

Nowhere!  Neither in the Old Testament nor in the New Testament.

No, the real issue is not money. 

The real issue was and still is about the exercise of power and the abuse of that power no matter the religious denominations concerned. 

The Catholic bishops of the United States, for example, promised accountability and transparency in 2002 but have they been conscientious in delivering on that promise?

Investigations and grand jury reports in a number of major jurisdictions have shown that the answer is a resounding “No.” 

Even the Archdiocese of Los Angeles has yet to release priests’ files which were part of their 2007 settlement and was ordered by the courts. 

In all good conscience, I would strongly encourage our brothers and sisters of the Jewish faith along with the faithful Catholics of the Archdiocese of New York,  and indeed all the good and decent people of the state of New York to support criminal and civil laws that are as strong as possible in holding accountable the sexual predators of our children and any individuals or institutions who were complicit in their protection.

The proposed New York legislation (A2596 and S2568) sponsored by Assemblywoman Margaret M. Markey, D-Queens and Senator Tom Duane, D-Manhattan, is both comprehensive and a solution that will go far to help reduce childhood sexual abuse.
__________________

Sister Turlish is a Delaware educator and victims’ advocate who testified before the Delaware Senate and House Judiciary Committees in support of Delaware’s 2007 Child Victims Law.  She is on the National Representative Council of Voice of the Faithful and on the Board of Directors for the Delaware Association for Children of Alcoholics.

E-mail Sister Maureen Paul Turlish at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Phil- please write about the Orthodox bashing over this jcc issue. I work with many people who do not consider themselves orthodox and am shocked by how they talk about felow jews and how they don’t want the orthodox to be part of the same religion. How much more devicive could one get?

Baltimore continues to protect its abusers.

http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=7376057&page=1
Orthodox Jewish Community Struggles With Abuse Allegations
Alleged Victims and Advocates Say Sex Abuse Common, Rarely Discussed
By SCOTT MICHELS
May 5, 2009

(Excerpt)

...

“They are willing to protect the community at the expense of the children,” said a woman who claims she was abused by her father, a rabbi, and who asked to be identified only by her first name, Nanette. The woman’s father did not return repeated messages seeking comment.

She said that when she began discussing the accusations against her father, her rabbi said if she continued to speak about it publicly, no other Orthodox Jews would be willing to marry any of her siblings. She says her family refused to speak with her.

“My sister told me until I stop the slander, she can’t be my sister,” she said.

“One of the things they say is when people speak out like this it causes desecration of God’s name,” she said. “But the real desecration to God is that they are willing to protect the community at the expense of the children.”

Tamir Weissberg says he was abused by three Orthodox men over the course of several years.

The first time was at summer camp when he was in the fifth grade, when he said the adult son of the camp director invited him and several other boys into his tent one night and fondled them. He says he never told anyone until years later.

The person he accuses of molesting him was convicted in 2006 of unrelated charges of trying to contact a child over the Internet for sex. He was sentenced to 262 months in prison.

When he was a student in the Midwest, Weissberg says a school administrator allowed him to make phone calls from the administrator’s room. One day, Weissberg says, the administrator showed him a pornographic magazine and asked Weissberg to masturbate in front of him.

Similar instances continued for several months, Weissberg says, until he tape recorded the man offering him money to masturbate in front of him.

When he took the tape to the head of the yeshiva, “He said ‘If I hear a word of this from anyone I will make your life miserable.’ And he took the tape away,” Weissberg claims.

The administrator and the school’s head rabbi did not return repeated calls for comment.

Weissberg, now 27, says he left school at 15 and returned to Baltimore feeling isolated and depressed. He says his parents were heartened when a family friend began spending time with him.

Weissberg says the friend, a lawyer, invited Weissberg to his apartment to watch a movie. After watching “Fargo,” the lawyer suggested watching another movie, and put on a porn film, Weissberg says. “I started screaming, I freaked out,” he said.

Weissberg says when he told his rabbi what had happened, the rabbi said he would look into it, but later responded that the lawyer had denied the allegations.

“He was someone I respect and a man of God. For me to have to sit there and tell him that, to no avail, it was a big slap in the face,” he said. “I was ignored completely.”

He says eventually the lawyer was asked to take a lie detector test and, when he admitted what had happened, he was asked to leave the Baltimore Orthodox community. No criminal charges were ever filed.

The rabbi, Moshe Heinemann, said he did not recall the lawyer admitting what had happened or asking him to leave the community. He declined to discuss the allegations further. Several other Baltimore rabbis declined to discuss the issue of sexual abuse.

“It was really shoved under the rug and ignored. I’m resentful for all that,” Weissberg said. “It’s something that people always think it’s not going to happen to my kid. We don’t want to hear about it.

“Unfortunately, we live in a society where there are a lot of sick people,” Weissberg said. “Just because you’re Jewish doesn’t mean you’re excluded from that. It’s a fact of life of the world we’re living in.”

...