Oops, excuse me, I had to wince there for a second while I watched a video of a chair fly over the mechitza at the Kotel, scattering a group of women who were praying to God. Seems there’s a new holy practice that I was unaware of, chair tossing.
Orthodox men toss plastic chairs over the mechitza to show their unhappiness that women wearing tallism might be praying at the Wall to God. Wow, sounds like the men are really working hard to living in the image of God and perform all of his mitzvot. Somewhere in the 613 there’s probably a mitzvah I don’t know about, involving Hareidi men throwing chairs.
Now I know that it’s not only chairs that have come across that mechitza. A friend, a rabbi, was hit horrifically enough by a dirty diaper thrown from the men’s side because she was praying with a group of women on Shavuos. Another friend, a woman, was involved in a fight on an Israeli bus, because she refused to move to the back of the bus in favor of a man. She was on her way to daven one morning.
But then there was not-so-distant incident of the woman reporter who was covered in the spit of young Hareidi men while covering a protest happening on Shabbat.
So my question. What is Orthodox? Is Orthodox about money, about turf, about power, about control? Have these factors moved it away from Shabbat and learning and prayer?
In full disclosure I want you to know that I just returned from the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance Conference in New York, so I’m feeling, well you know, that maybe the issues like Agunot could go away if the men controlling the religion really wanted them to go away.
I cannot believe that a denomination that prides itself on following mitzvot could allow a divorced woman to go through her life with her dignity stripped away. I cannot believe that these men, these so-called leaders who are probably ruled by fear and by money can possibly feel they are acting in a Godly way.
So is this “Orthodox?” What is it?
Certainly, you don’t hear much of this going on in the Conservative, Reform and secular parts of Judaism. Maybe, must maybe, in the category of social civility, the non-Orthodox are more Orthodox than the Orthodox?
But you know what?
The Orthodox “leaders” in this world are going to go ahead and place the emphasis, the buzz, the crisis, the hysteria on the issue of Orthodox women as rabbis.
You know what boys, knock yourselves out.
Until one of you Agudah guys or RCA guys can stand up and bravely say, this agunot issue has to end now, and is going to end now, then your organizations are not serving God’s will. Instead, you’re finding loopholes in God’s will. Yasher Koach.
As far as women as rabbis in Orthodoxy?
Maybe, just maybe the silence over issues such as molestation and trauma and abuse will be brought out into the open, because the old boys club will become more irrelevant.
Me, I just want to believe in God. I want us to look at one another as Jews, and help each other live on this earth, honoring God through prayer, charity and acts of kindness.
The ideas is not to ruin lives, but to uplift lives.
HaShem has already thrown something back over that mechitza. Why don’t we have a Third Temple? Because throwing plastic chairs or dirty diapers or spitting on people?
We’re lucky we have a Wall.

Sam,
I came onto this because it was highlighted in this past week’s printed JT.
Your personal discomfort is disguised by wrapping yourself in the mantle of “the Orthodox community.”
But the only true speaking is when we speak for ourselves. So, Phil’s outspokenness bothers you.
Calling him “out of touch” is a critique? Most of us are out of touch with SOMEthing. Phil, or any blogger, wants his readers to get IN touch with a topic. He is not the one out of touch with this topic. Most readers were.
It can be hard, getting people in touch. You know, emotional language connects much better than dry language. Whether or not a phrase could have been different, that is trickier. And your method of giving him advice is not on target, IMHO.

Ariel,

Who said they’re not being discussed? Yes, these are real issues that MUST be discussed, but Phil’s method of reaching out by dumping his heart for all to see is not effective. His method is out of touch, not the subject.

..and why should there be a difference whether it’s a blog or an article. They’re both in print, they’re both written by a human being and a journalist to boot. One has as much responsibility to be truthful and dignified on a blog as they do in an article. The only difference is the blog has a more casual feel to it and updates can be sent much quicker - but it’s the same writer and the same audience and it deserves the same care.

Sam,

Seems to me you’re the one out of touch with the Orthodox community. Open up your ears and eyes and you’ll see that THESE are the things that are being discussed - in the back of shuls, at Shabbos tables, in many other blogs that are read by a wider audience (apologies, Phil), and even brought up by coworkers. Especially among the younger Jews, these are the issues, real issues of respect and trust, that are being faced.

Finally, this is a blog post for goodness sake. This is not an article that was published. This IS the spot to write about what is on one’s mind. If Phil decides to do an investigative report on how people in the Orthodox community feel about the chair throwing, he can do, but to tell him what he should write about in a blog post, which is supposed to be about what’s on the blogger’s mind, is somewhat ridiculous.

DeDe,

He may be part of the community, but he’s still out of touch and cannot effectively communicate with them. I think he should just drop his critiques and focus on politics or something. It’s a royal waste of time if people feel he doesn’t understand them and just preaches to the wall. Would you criticize if you knew no one was listening and you weren’t getting through? He’s proven that he doesn’t know how to get through so it’s time to find another focus.

Sam

Just so you know, Sam, Phil has been part of the Orthodox community since the mid-‘80s. You can ask Rabbi Porter, whose Etz Chaim classes he took, or Rabbi Goldberger, whose shul he has attended for the last 20+ years. His critique comes from a deep personal pain and call to action at seeing the leaders of the Orthodox community fail to deal effectively with serious crises affecting all of us. If they fail to act, what qualifies them to be leaders?

Sam, unfortunately the “choir he preaches to” does not “hum along in harmony” - to wit, this pithy exchange of words!

We have “gedolim” who have “condemned” Rabbi Avi Weiss in extremely harsh language for having the temerity to give the title “Rabbat” to a woman.  But I do not hear these same gedolim condemning the Rabbis who have been convicted of sexual misconduct, of sexually abusing our children.  Where are the harsh words for them??  No, they have to condemn the actions of those who take positive action.  This to me is pure evil. So, no humming along in harmony here…

Provocative is great, if it’s effective. There’s plenty of bad news to tell about the Orthodox Community, and Phil does a great job at that. But what does it accomplish? It alienates him because he makes it clear that he speaks his heart and not his mind, and his heart does not pump to the same beat as the Orthodox community. He has no understanding of them and rants on these pages creating a pattern of uninformed, and sometimes vicious, critiques of the Orthodox community and does not communicate effectively with the community. He just doesn’t “get it” and has made it clear that he doesn’t plan to “get it” anytime soon. So what does all the ranting accomplish? The choir he preaches to hums along in harmony…

I think there are some questions here that those of us who are Orthodox might want to ask ourselves, before we advise the “Phils” in our world to stop ranting about the negative events that are reported in the Chareidi world. Are the actions that Phil is speaking of truly happening? Sadly, they are. Would we be asking for silence if non-Orthodox Jews were repeatedly hurling objects in holy places, or bullying others to signify their displeasure?  I doubt it- we would expect outrage if not demand it.  I think that the hardest question is: Are those of us who advocate silence tacitly giving our consent?  By failing to vociferously condemn these acts of hooliganism and violence within our midst, we are, to some extent, condoning them.  I too, want to believe that somehow, someone else is “quietly” making things happen and those silent doers of good will change things.  I sadly admit that assumption sometimes allows me to sit back and deny my own obligations.  However, there is a time and a place for outrage. It can be a powerful tool for change and sometimes it is necessary. How can we change things if we are unaware of what’s happening?

@Sam:  Really?  Burying one’s head in the sand is a better idea?  You think pointing out the absurd behavior of those who think they represent orthodoxy is “provocative?”  I’m pretty sure that chucking chairs at women who dare to exercise their civil rights (not to mention to act completely within the bounds of normative halakhah) is what’s really “provocative.”

If you think that Phil doesn’t “go out there and speak to [orthodox people], ask questions, discuss, [and] quietly make things happen,” then you don’t the man.  He “quietly” makes a myriad of things happen, he just doesn’t feel the need to publicize them.

Hmm,Sam says you should not be provocative.  If everyone had done as he said, we would still be avadim b’mitzrayim.  In a way, Moshe was the first advocate (bein adam l’chavero).  Avraham was the the first advocate (bein adam l’hashem). 

Advocacy has merits.  Speaking out to encourage open discussion has merit. 

Sam, should we turn a blind eye to the negative that occurs within our own community?  What do you think that will engender?  Without words from those who know how to use them, those who can take action will not do so.  Phil has the words. There are others who have the action. 

Freedom of speech:  this is a right hold most dear in this country.  Utilize it. Utilize it to speak out against what you see wrong.  Utilize it to spur others to action.  Complacency has no place in our lives.

Good job, Phil!

Phil, If you have question about the Orthodox community go out there and ask the community instead of spilling your emotional rant here every week. You know many Orthodox people - go out there and speak to them, ask questions, discuss, quietly make things happen. Your provocative rants about some goons throwing chairs and the like will win nothing but pats on the back from people who kvetch about the negative, are blind to the positive, and do nothing to make things better.