On Monday morning, a Ner Israel Rabbinical College student died, according to police reports, after he jumped into the Susquehanna River from the Millard E. Tydings Memorial Bridge on Interstate 95 near Port Deposit in Harford County.
Zvi David Zahler, 24, of blessed memory, should be an aliyah for all of our neshamot.
What I hear of him, he was just an incredibly wonderful young man, and it is our loss that he won’t be able to give his goodness to this hurting world.
What was as daunting as his death were the initial reports on a small handful of Jewish blogs or websites. The incident was originally reported by these outlets as an auto accident of some sort.
Some of the comments on the blogs criticized those blogs for getting the story straight when they based their information on details provided by the authorities.
I don’t know anything about Zvi David Zahler, so I’m not going to write about him specifically. What concerned me the most was the initial public comment that this couldn’t possibly have been a suicide, that it was an accident.
What concerns me is this propensity to cover up.
Because what this does is it discourages others who could be suffering from chronic depression from seeking help. No, not the help that their rav can give them, but the help that a licensed clinical social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist could help them with. Or stated differently, the best help the rav could give a troubled soul is a referral to a trained professional.
It is one thing to be sad, but quite another to be depressed. It is one thing to say, “I feel like killing myself,” but it’s quite another to actually find that dark place where a realization that this is “for keeps” still isn’t enough to stop one from ending his life.
There is such a daunting list of reasons why a person living in an insular life wouldn’t seek treatment. I guess going to a “shrink” could end up impacting a relative’s shidduch (dating ability). I guess getting psychological help carries with it a stigma that connects to words such as “weakness” or “instability.”
But then there is the possibility of our old friend arrogance holding power over accountability. If this was, indeed, a suicide, I fear that it was arrogance taking a troubled soul away from us. It’s the same cover, the same hurt that keeps some of us from asking for help we desperately need for ourselves or our loved ones who have been sexually molested, verbally or physically assaulted.
Our rabbis can offer up Rashi or Rambam. But we some need are therapy and yes even medications. That’s not a weakness, that’s a strength that makes sense. If your loved one suffered from any sort of physical ailment, you would in a heartbeat take them to the doctor, have a prescription filled and nurse them back to health. My goodness, you’d take your car into the shop to get a strange noise fixed before you’d admit to a mental illness.
Mental illness needs the same sort of tender loving care. It is not intangible, it hurts. Depression has physical pain in many instances connected to it. It shouldn’t be treated with shame nor embarrassment. Because if it is treated as a stigma, more “amazing, kind, gentle learned men,” could look for bridges to stop their pain instead of seeking our help.
And that cannot be.

Please have respect and dignity for the Niftar and not to post negative articles or anything about depression.  We have to say only good things about the Niftar I knew him personally and let me tell you what a great and caring individual he was.  Noone knows what really happen but we have to focus right now on the well being of his Almanah and the baby on the way.  By writing articles about depression you are hurting the family very badly because they time to grieve and hear from this tragedy.  If the family wants to cover up the story that is there business if is unfair for you people to make comments because the only person that knows what happened is the one above.  So please only make comments stating how great the Niftar was and he was a true friend to everyone.
Baruch Dayan Emes.  We will miss you terrible Fifi.

I am simply embarrased by all these comments I am a family member of the deceased and I don’t appreciate all these comments if the family wants to cover up the story that is there business and noone elses. Let me tell you something about the Niftar he was a wonderful young man that wouldn’t hurt a fly.  If we would have more people in this world like him it would be a better place to live.  We are going to miss you terrible.  May your nishama be a melitz yashaar to your whole family and to all of Klal Yisroel.  Baruch Dayan Emes.

Media & Suicide Prevention

From the World Health Organiztion

Media play a significant role in today’s society by providing a very wide range of information in a variety of ways. They strongly influence community attitudes, beliefs and behaviour, and play a vital role in politics, economics and social practice. Because of that influence media can also play an active role in the prevention of suicide.

Suicide is perhaps the most tragic way of ending one’s life. The majority of people who consider suicide are ambivalent. They are not sure that they want to die. One of the many factors that may lead a vulnerable individual to suicide could be publicity about suicides in the media. How the media report on suicide cases can influence other suicides.

These resources seek to outline the impact of media reporting on suicide, indicate sources of reliable information, suggest how to report on suicide in both general and specific circumstances, and point to pitfalls to be avoided in reporting on suicide.

IMPACT OF MEDIA REPORTING ON SUICIDE

One of the earliest known associations between the media and suicide arose from Goethe’s novel Die Leiden des jungen Werther (The Sorrows of Young Werther), published in 1774. In that work the hero shoots himself after an ill-fated love, and shortly after its publication there were many reports of young men using the same method to commit suicide. This resulted in a ban of the book in several places. Hence the term “Werther effect”, used in the technical literature to designate imitation (or copycat) suicides.

Other studies of the media’s role in suicide include a review going back to the last century in the United States. Another famous and recent case concerns the book Final Exit written by Derek Humphry: after the publication of this book, there was an increase in suicides in New York using the methods described. The publication of Suicide, mode d’emploi in France also led to an increase in the number of suicides. According to Philips and colleagues, the degree of publicity given to a suicide story is directly correlated with the number of subsequent suicides. Cases of suicide involving celebrities have had a particularly strong impact.

Television also influences suicidal behaviour. Philips showed an increase in suicide up to 10 days after television news reports of cases of suicide. As in the printed media, highly publicized stories that appear in multiple programmes on multiple channels seem to carry the greatest impact - all the more so if they involve celebrities. However, there are conflicting reports about the impact of fictional programmes: some show no effect, while others cause an increase in suicidal behaviour.

The association between stage plays or music and suicidal behaviour has been poorly investigated and remains mainly anecdotal.

Imitation is the process by which one suicide exerts a modelling effect on subsequent suicides.

Clusters are a number of suicides that occur in close temporal and/or geographical proximity, with or without any direct link. Contagion is the process by which a given suicide facilitates the occurrence of a further suicide, regardless of the direct or indirect knowledge of the prior suicide.

More recently, the Internet has introduced a number of new issues. There are web sites that help a person with suicidal plans and others that try to prevent suicides. So far, no systematic studies have analysed its impact on suicide.

Overall, there is enough evidence to suggest that some forms of non-fictional newspaper and television coverage of suicide are associated with a statistically significant excess of suicide; the impact appears to be strongest among young people. Nevertheless, the majority of suicides are not reported in the media; when the decision is taken to inform the public about a suicide, it usually involves a particular person, method or place. Suicide is often newsworthy and the media have the right to report it. However, the suicides most likely to attract the attention of the media are those that depart from usual patterns. In fact, it is striking that cases presented in the media are almost invariably atypical and uncommon, and to represent them as typical further perpetuates misinformation about suicide. Clinicians and researchers acknowledge that it is not news coverage of suicide per se, but certain types of news coverage, that increase suicidal behaviour in vulnerable populations. Conversely, certain types of coverage may help to prevent imitation of the suicidal behaviour. Nevertheless, there is always the possibility that publicity about suicide might make the idea of suicide seem “normal”. Repeated and continual coverage of suicide tends to induce and promote suicidal preoccupations, particularly among adolescents and young adults.

SOURCES OF RELIABLE INFORMATION

Reliable information on suicide mortality can be obtained from a number of agencies around the world. The WHO data bank contains data starting from 1950, by age and gender. Other agencies that may provide information are United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), United Nations Interregional Crime and Justice Research Institute (UNICRI), United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM), International Clinical Epidemiology Network (INCLEN), International Society for the Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect (ISPCAN), INTERPOL, Statistical Office of the European Communities (EUROSTAT) and the World Bank. A number of governmental agencies, national associations and voluntary organizations also provide information: the Swedish National Centre for Suicide Research and Prevention, the Australian Bureau of Statistics and the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are examples.

Reporting of suicide in an appropriate, accurate and potentially helpful manner by enlightened media can prevent tragic loss of lives by suicide.

The number of suicides is often underestimated. The extent of underestimation varies from country to country, depending chiefly on the ways in which suicide is ascertained.

Other reasons for the underestimation of suicide include stigma, social and political factors, and insurance regulations, which means that some suicides may be reported under the guise of accidents or death from undetermined causes. The extent of underestimation of suicides is thought to be 20-25% in the elderly and 6-12% in others. There are no worldwide official records of non-fatal suicidal behaviour (suicide attempts), largely because on average only about 25% of attempters need or seek medical intervention. Most suicide attempts therefore go unreported and unrecorded.

Precautions in using suicide data

Comparisons are frequently made between suicide data from different countries, but it must be borne in mind that procedures for the recording of mortality data vary greatly among countries, and this seriously affects any direct comparability.

Suicide rates are normally expressed as the number of suicidal deaths per 100 000 population. If reported rates refer to small populations (e.g. cities, provinces or even small countries) their interpretation requires extra caution, since just a few deaths may radically change the picture. For populations under 250 000, crude numbers of suicides are generally used. Some rates may be reported in age-standardized form. This can exclude suicides under 15 years because of the small numbers, but in many countries there is an alarming increase in suicides in this age group.

HOW TO REPORT ON SUICIDE IN GENERAL

Specific issues that need to be addressed when reporting on suicide include the following:

• Statistics should be interpreted carefully and correctly;
• Authentic and reliable sources should be used;
• Impromptu comments should be handled carefully in spite of time pressures;
• Generalizations based on small figures require particular attention, and expressions such as “suicide epidemic” or “the place with the highest suicide rate in the world” should be avoided;
• Reporting suicidal behaviour as an understandable response to social or cultural changes or degradation should be resisted.

HOW TO REPORT ON A SPECIFIC SUICIDE

The following points should be kept in mind:

• Sensational coverage of suicides should be assiduously avoided, particularly when a celebrity is involved. The coverage should be minimized to the extent possible. Any mental health problem the celebrity may have had should also be acknowledged. Every effort should be made to avoid overstatement. Photographs of the deceased, of the method used and of the scene of the suicide are to be avoided. Front page headlines are never the ideal location for suicide reports.
• Detailed descriptions of the method used and how the method was procured should be avoided. Research has shown that media coverage of suicide has a greater impact on the method of suicide adopted than the frequency of suicides. Certain locations - bridges, cliffs, tall buildings, railways, etc. - are traditionally associated with suicide and added publicity increases the risk that more people will use them.
• Suicide should not be reported as unexplainable or in a simplistic way. Suicide is never the result of a single factor or event. It is usually caused by a complex interaction of many factors such as mental and physical illness, substance abuse, family disturbances, interpersonal conflicts and life stressors. Acknowledging that a variety of factors contributes to suicide would be helpful.
• Suicide should not be depicted as a method of coping with personal problems such as bankruptcy, failure to pass an examination, or sexual abuse.
• Reports should take account of the impact of suicide on families and other survivors in terms of both stigma and psychological suffering.
• Glorifying suicide victims as martyrs and objects of public adulation may suggest to susceptible persons that their society honours suicidal behaviour. Instead, the emphasis should be on mourning the person’s death.
• Describing the physical consequences of non-fatal suicide attempts (brain damage, paralysis, etc.) can act as a deterrent.

PROVIDING INFORMATION ON HELP AVAILABLE

Media can play a proactive role in helping to prevent suicide by publishing the following information along with news on suicide:

• Listing available mental health services and helplines with their up-to-date telephone numbers and addresses;
• Publicizing the warning signs of suicidal behaviour;
• Conveying the message that depression is often associated with suicidal behaviour and that depression is a treatable condition;
• Offering a message of sympathy to the survivors in their hour of grief and providing telephone numbers of support groups for survivors, if available. This increases the likelihood of intervention by mental health professionals, friends and family in suicidal crises.

SUMMARY OF WHAT TO DO AND NOT TO DO

• Work closely with health authorities in presenting the facts.
• Refer to suicide as a died by suicide, not a successful one.
• Present only relevant data, on the inside pages.
• Highlight alternatives to suicide.
• Provide information on helplines and community resources.
• Publicize risk indicators and warning signs.
• Don’t publish photographs or suicide notes.
• Don’t report specific details of the method used.
• Don’t give simplistic reasons.
• Don’t glorify or sensationalize suicide.
• Don’t use religious or cultural stereotypes.
• Don’t apportion blame.

I saw this entry on another blog and perhaps all of you big shot yentas should read it as you huff and puff your great opinions and accomplish nothing!
I am the widow of a man who suffered from depression issues for years. I will say the yeshivish frum community (Rabbonim and their constituencies) is poorly equipped to deal with depression issues or any issues that make the community look less than perfect.
My husband, had no Rabbinic support to get the help he needed early on when it would have done the most with the least pain. The Rav we dealt with took the easy way out and told my husband that I was the problem. I have since found evidence in his papers and writings that he suffered from depression before we met (while yet a bachur in Yeshiva).
After a lot of agmas nefesh I was able to get him to go to therapy, he was sent to a psychiatrist to try several different meds the failure of which only made him sink deeper. He eventually took his own life. While I would have wished to go public to get more awareness in the community, I have had to put my children first. It has not been easy to raise them in the shadow caused by thoughtless people like you who feel they’re entitled to know every Yankel’s business.
Before you go on your diatribe on the false story of a car accident, consider the fact that you and almost everyone else on these sights go under anonymous or another pseudonym.
The way this yungerman died is really none of your business. The ability for the new almanah and their unborn child to get through this should be your present concern. Being a yentah in this situation is nothing more than rishus on your part.
If you want to get involved to try to make a difference so this shouldn’t happen to others like me and this new almanha (and I can tell you there are plenty more of us);  than go to your Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshivos, start working to raise the funds needed for people to get the professional help they need, invite Psychologists to speak in your Shuls and communal institutions and stop your yenting.

Looking at these posts, I see why so few of our “leaders” have the courage to speak out on these issues.  The level of venom directed at those who dare to say unpleasant truths is staggering.  First the news of the suicide was published in the Sun, so it wasn’t Phil or the JT that put this out in public.  They were responding to the clumsy attempt at cover-up by the frum media.  To the person below who asserts that this be kept quiet until the family has time to recover, I ask, “When is an appropriate time to raise the issue?  Is there ever an appropriate time?”  In the meanwhile, because of our “sensitivity” we are sending a message to any people who are coping with depression, namely, that there is something “shameful” about what happened to this young man.  Yes, there is, but the shame was not as much in his final act of despair, but the atmosphere that drove him to the brink of that bridge.  The fact that we are being told over and over that “nobody knew” and that his closest friends are all shocked is an indicator of the level of fear and shame that mental illness rouses in our community.  This guy couldn’t tell anyone what he was feeling, maybe not even his wife because of this fear. Can you imagine keeping all that inside? Ask any mental health professional who deals with the Orthodox community and they will tell you that by the time frum men and women get to their offices, they are deep into the pathology of mental illness.  (The frum professionals will tell you, but only on condition of utmost secrecy.  They have families to protect from the anger of people like you). If they are young, their families are afraid to ruin their chances for marriage or the chances of their siblings.  If they have families of their own, ignorance puts their own children’s shidduchin at risk.  Young men and women are told to go off their medications before dating, so that they can tell “the truth” to those they date if questions of health are asked.  If they go to their rabbis for counseling, they are often told that they have a problem with their emunah, that greater belief is the cure for depression, or that they will “get over it” without need of a mental health professional, or that they shouldn’t go to a mental health professional because they are hostile to religion.  This may be increasingly true- what would you think if you think of us if you were a professional who saw such a number of Orthodox people on the verge of breakdown because they had been discouraged from seeking help? 
It does not require Sherlock Holmes to realize that depression murdered this young man. He was given a public funeral and not buried as a suicide.  Mental illness automatically renders the man as a “shoteh” not responsible for his final act.  So please, all of you who are spilling your vitriol here, realize that your attitudes are destroying lives, creating widows and orphans and splitting families. We need to talk openly about mental illness; accept it for what it is in most cases- an increasingly treatable condition. If not, in these troubled times, we will see more of us crossing that bridge to nowhere because they feel that the only thing on this side is despair.

I am deeply disappointed at our community’s reaction in this time of tragedy.

The Jewish way has always been privacy and modesty.  Bilaam praised the Jewish people for setting up their tents so they could not look into the private lives of their neighbor.

And now, in the name of public health, you are ripping the curtains of privacy from the life of a family.  When we go to pay a shiva visit we let the mourner guide us. They must talk first and give us a cue as to how they want us to respond.  Here you are forcing them to talk.

There was an attempt by the family to cover-up the details to give them space and privacy during this dreadful time.  The initial story was unbelievable - fine - so you let it go and play along - knowing that you can choose to preserve the family’s dignity so that their rawest pain is not exposed to all before they are ready.

This private space does not stigmatize mental illness. Rather it allows the family to cope and allows people with mental illness to realize that their dignity will be preserved if they reach out for help. Instead we get this clown show of a parade of opinions about a man, a family, a condition, and a community.

Everyone keeps comparing mental illness to physical illness.  Perhaps we need to actually treat the mentally ill like the physically ill. Doctors draw the curtains before they treat someone in the hospital.  There are HIPA laws so that even a person’s spouse and family is not privy to his medical records. When we visit someone in the hospital, we look away when their body isn’t functioning as it should. We do not stare and state that it is normal and natural.  We don’t discuss another person’s chemotherapy treatments with strangers nor do we pry for details of medical conditions.

Why do we think it is okay for hundreds of strangers to be doing this type of prying and staring about a man’s mental illness? Have we lost our sense of shame? Have we lost our dignity?

Our community has come a long way. We have organizations and articles and public information sessions about mental illness. This was not the time or place to advocate for these changes.  This was a time to be silent.

Is this seriously a group of adults on here???
The immaturity and name calling is juvanile and pathetic.  Everyone has a right to their opinion, but cmon, its time to grow up.
I dont think anyone is judging this guy, his yeshiva, or his family.  You gotta look at the facts that we know at this point, and those are that he didnt get the help he needed, and that this was the outcome of that.  Because we cant know the details that lead up to this event we have to take what we can from it.  The fact is that yes, the frum community needs to address the issues of denial and stigma and judgment that causes people to not seek treatment for illnesses that are plaguing them.  People arent embarissed to get anti-biotics for an infection, yet they feel like they’ll be shunned for seeking help for chemical imbalances, depression, anxiety…These are all treatable, and people can improve their lives significantly by getting the help they need.  This is the message that we need to get out to our community!!...that its ok and normal for young mothers to feel overwealmed, and possibly need some anti-depressants to get through a tough time…that fathers may feel anxiety about not bringing home a big enough paycheck and its starting to affect their functioning… depression can come and go, and sometimes its harder for some than others to get the right treatment, but its about time we start encouraging eachother to get healthy and do what it takes to find happiness.

To Phils abitch, all I have to say to you is really? Do you even know how absurd you look using words like jerkoff? You’re absolutely ridiculous and your attempts at insulting a reporter who is doing what needs to be done for this community are laughable. Why don’t you get some courage and actually post your name when you write preposterous things like that. Phil doesn’t hide behind anything like you hind behind your immature posts with your fake name. Seriously, grow up.

I’m sorry but in my rarely hmble and currently ticked off opinion there was no reason in this case to publicize what happened.

Not every case is one of a cover up, sometimes there are actually valid reasons to keep things quiet at the beginning and people should not be so arrogant as to think that they know everything and have the the right view of all the balls in play.

Sometimes we can pray too much at the temple of the truth is always the best way to go at all times and in all situations…to me that is a fools stance.

Someone wants to write a piece about depression in the Jewish community - great, more power to them and there is certainly no lack of cases from which to draw…this one should have been and should be left alone for now.

By the way, the problem with seeking psychiatric help in the frum community is because it could negatively affect the shidduch chances of either the person, or other family members.  I know people will scream that this isn’t true, but it really does happen that way.

Phils abitch wrote “Phil is a snitching coward that hides behind his newspaper.”  That’s funny, his name appears on everything he writes.  However, I see YOU hiding behind an anonymous name.  If YOU’RE such a wonderful person, why don’t you identify yourself instead of hiding?  Let’s see what kind of guts YOU have!

To Avi,
Nowhere in the article that I read does the author imply guilt or negligence on the part of anyone in Ner Yisroel-not the Rabbis or anyone else.
Why you want to belittle Mr. Jacobs for writing an incredibly important article which this terrible tragedy was a starting point for, is beyond me. To not acknowledge that we have a serious “it’s a shanda to seek psychiatric help” problem is just perpetuating the problem.  I am certain Mr. Jacobs was just trying to show people what happens when problems are not effectively dealt with, without saying that did or did not happen in this particular case.  He, in fact, said that he did not know about this particular person. May this troubled person find the peace and solace he did not have here and his family nechama.  May we all become more enlightened and sensitive to others which surely will bring Moshiach - bimhera byameinu.

Mr. Jacobs seems to draw a direct link between Mr. Zahler’s suicide and the Ner Israel Rabbinic College.
His assertion seems to imply that had the “rabbis” at Ner referred this young man for professional psychiatric help, his death would have been avoidable.
A couple of points of order:
1. We have no evidence that:
(a) Mr. Zahler was NOT seeing a professional psychiatrist.
(b) his “rabbis"recognized his depression.
(c) his “rabbis” tried to counsel him in lieu of referring him on to a trained professional.
This part is simply Mr. Jacob’s uninformed opinion.
2. Many people suffering from depression - even if they do seek professional - commit suicide. This is not just the problem of the Ner community in Baltimore.
Mr. Jacobs makes a good point about the need for proper counseling and treatment of depression. However, it is more than obvious that he is speaking less from knowledge and more from a soapbox.
May the soul of this young man rise to highest heights and rest by the throne of Hashem.

Thank you so much for your very important article.  I can only hope it’s picked up by every Jewish paper.  We really do have a problem that too many of us think it’s better to “sha shtill”.

To the second commenter:you are a disgrace to the Jewish people.

The coverup is an embarassment, and it leads to a whole host of bad things. Did the people who “spun” this story really think they could get away with it?

We are here to comfort the living, and that means admitting and dealing with real problems.

Please, everyone reading this, take an active interest in Ahavas Yisrael—enquire after the wellbeing of your friends and acquaintenances. As a community, we can, and must, help each other, every day.

Phil jacobs thinks he knows everything when really he’s even dumber than he looks. Phil is a snitching coward that hides behind his newspaper. Keep hiding jerkoff

Excellent thoughts. I too have been bothered by the desire that seems to be out there to cover this up.