FEATURED JOBS
Comments (0)President Obama Has Proclaimed January as National Mentoring Month. By Karen Schloss, Match Coordinator “There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.”* Stories abound testifying to the miraculous difference a mentor can make in the life of a child or teenager. Those of us who staff the … More » read more
BLOGS
Do Something “Big” for a Child: Be a Mentor
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/17/12 at 09:58 AM
Jewish Parents are Jewish Educators (Whether They Know it or Not)
Many Jewish parents today don’t see themselves as Jewish educators. They aren’t fluent in Hebrew, they aren’t experts in Jewish texts, and they might not even know what contemporary educational researchers recommend. But Jewish parents are Jewish educators, whether they know it or not. Judaism isn’t an abstract … More » read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/03/12 at 10:15 AM
I Thought I Was Doing The Right Thing!
Bill Burnett, parent and professor at Stanford University, and his wife thought they were doing all the right things when they recently allowed their teenage son to have a party at their home. Put yourself in their position. You decide to allow your teen to host a party in … More » read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/20/11 at 09:47 AM
Bumper Stickers Pack a Punch
Driving home from work the other day, I was waiting at a long red light. In front of me was a Chevy pick-up truck. There was plenty of time to notice the bumper sticker on the back fender. It read: “MY KID BEAT UP YOUR HONOR STUDENT.” I was both incredulous and offended…. Read more read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/06/11 at 11:12 AM
If It’s Friday, I Must be Going to Dad’s…
Imagine what it’s like to be a child shuttling back and forth between two homes on a weekly basis. You have two bedrooms, two sets of toys, two neighborhoods. That is the reality in many families today. Due to high rates of divorce these children are living between two parents, in … Read more… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/22/11 at 10:42 AM
Young Children and Prescription Drugs: Start Talking Early
As parents, we all want to keep our children safe. But we may be unwittingly exposing them to danger right in our own homes. Many of us think of medications as “good drugs.” We tend to be a little lax about leaving medicines on the kitchen counter, or not bothering to throw … More » read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/08/11 at 09:49 AM
Ready for a Sleepover?
The new school year is in full swing. Has your child been invited to a sleepover yet? Seems like everyone is doing it. As a child therapist, I get questions from parents of young children such as: “How do I know when my child is ready for sleeping away from home?” Read More ... read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 10/25/11 at 11:16 AM
Who’s in Charge?
These days it seems as if children have the upper hand in many families. Children are making their own rules in the home, and parents are letting them get away with it. Sometimes it’s hard to exert our authority as parents. Coming into conflict with our children can feel uncomfortable,... Read more… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 10/11/11 at 08:43 AM
My Child Doesn’t Listen. Help!
You have asked your 10-year-old child repeatedly, “Pick up your shoes and move them to the closet, put your dirty clothes in the hamper, pick your toys up off the floor, clear your homework off the table…” Read more read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 09/27/11 at 09:48 AM
Home Alone
Remember the comedy movie “Home Alone,” when the parents went on a family vacation and forgot their 8-year-old son? Kevin was left to fend for himself, and he proved to be self-reliant, remarkably independent, and incredibly ingenious as he successfully defended his home against ridiculous intruders. Probably not the ideal first “home … Read more… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 09/13/11 at 08:32 AM
Senior Moments (High School, that is) for Parents
So, your child is entering his senior year in high school. Top dog. Big man on campus. The finish line is in sight. Congratulations. Now hold on to your proverbial hat. This year is a rollercoaster ride of milestones, deadlines and transitions that will test your nerves and your relationship with your child. There are no easy guidelines or answers for navigating this year, but a heads-up about what’s coming may help you feel a bit more prepared. read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/30/11 at 09:22 AM
Recipe for a Yummy Middle School Experience
In a few weeks, your student will begin middle school. There’s a lot to learn: the building is larger, the day starts and ends earlier than in elementary school, rules are different and faces unfamiliar. Because students change rooms for each class, they don’t have an assigned desk, but instead must store everything in their lockers. They have new names, schedules and locker combinations to memorize. Read more… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/16/11 at 10:49 AM
Transitioning Successfully from Middle School to High School
Summer is winding down and your middle school graduate will soon be a high school freshman. There are clear physical signs that your child has matured (a deeper voice, ill-fitting clothes). But is your child ready for the academic, emotional and social challenges of high school? Your “top dog” is heading for … More » read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/03/11 at 09:18 AM
Parents, Kids and Alcohol–A Good Mix?
Teens who drink with adult supervision have more drinking-related problems than their peers whose parents don’t allow them to drink. Surprised? This is the finding of a University of Washington study of 1,945 teens from grades 7-9 in the state of Washington and in Australia. The researchers chose to include and compare American and Australian teens because the two countries have different attitudes about teens and drinking, ranging from zero tolerance to permissiveness. As reported in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs (May 2011), the researchers found that “providing opportunities for drinking in supervised contexts did not inhibit alcohol use or harmful use in either state.” read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 07/19/11 at 08:15 AM
I Hope They Have the Time of Their Life
This past spring I was standing in line at the campus bookstore waiting to buy my cap and gown with my best friend and roommate for 3 years. Right as I was being rung up, Green Day’s Time of Your Life came on the overhead radio speakers and I started to cry. Until then, I had tried to stay strong, mainly by way of denial, but the looming fact of graduating and leaving this amazing world became all too real, and it finally hit me that College was about to be over. Read more… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 07/05/11 at 10:51 AM
Enjoying Nature with Your Child
Question: How can I get my child interested in spending more time outdoors, enjoying nature? Answer: Joy is highly contagious. We don’t need to try all that hard to convince our children to appreciate what we appreciate. Our own joy speaks volumes. When we are able to focus on the beautiful … More » read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 06/21/11 at 10:14 AM
They’re Back: Young Adults Moving Home
About a third of Americans in their 20s live with their parents at least once. Often this happens during stressful times of transition—after college graduation, between jobs or apartments, after a relationship has ended. Read more... read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 06/07/11 at 12:52 PM
When Your Child Is No Longer a Child
The age of “emancipation.” So many of our children look forward to those “firsts”—the driver’s license, high school graduation, first apartment, first credit card —when they can be “liberated” from the burden of being under their parents’ rule and make decisions on their own. Read more… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 05/24/11 at 10:41 AM
Do I Need a Drug Sniffing Dog in My Home?
Many parents have a generalized worry that their adolescent may start drinking or using drugs. But how can you tell if your teenager really is using these substances? This is a challenge. Read more... read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 05/11/11 at 10:48 AM
Social Networking Safety 101
I hear lots of reasons why many parents don’t want a Facebook account. They don’t have time, they don’t care what their friends ate for breakfast, they don’t want old high school classmates looking them up and it’s a waste of time, to name a few. Some parents just don’t feel comfortable communicating through this new medium. But social networking is a powerful tool that has been placed in the hands of our impressionable, impulsive and ego-driven kids—and they need our guidance. First, remember that your child needs to be 13 years old to have a Facebook page. The reason for this rule is to protect young children, who should not be allowed to venture prematurely into this new and sometimes dangerous world. A recent study by the Pew Internet & American Life Project, reported on CNN.com, found that… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 04/27/11 at 09:40 AM
Creating a Complete Woman: Perspectives of a Mother and Daughter
A Mother’s Perspective They say she will be the perfect Princess. Bright, attractive, poised, independent, to name just a few of her characteristics. Recently when a writer tried to find out “dirt” about her, he could find nothing. It seems that 28-year-old Kate Middleton—or Catherine, as she will now be called when she marries Prince William—is everything you would want your daughter to be. So how did her mother raise such a wonderful woman? What does a young girl need to become a well rounded, respected and happy adult woman? This topic has intrigued me and has come up in many discussions with my three daughters, as I have seen them growing up to become young women. Each has her own perspective on a woman’s place in the world. I’d like to share my perspective as a Mom, and… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 04/12/11 at 11:08 AM
Talking with Children about Death
My family was gathered together around the Thanksgiving table. We were catching up with each other’s lives and ooing and ahing over the dishes each of us had brought to the dinner when my five year old cousin stopped us in our tracks by asking, “Do you know that the turkey was alive just like you and me?” A little rattled by his observation and direct question, we all fell silent and waited for his parents to answer. At that moment I was reminded that in a culture that prides itself on accomplishing death defying acts, like stopping a patient’s heart from beating while a surgeon repairs or replaces a heart valve, death is always present in some form. Children encounter death daily. They even incorporate it in their play, as when the bad guy gets shot and dramatically… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/29/11 at 09:00 AM
What Does Your Child See in the Mirror?
Are you getting mixed messages about how to address body image and food with your kids? If so, you’re not alone. There are so many conflicting messages telling parents to “do the right thing” that it’s hard to know what the right thing is. Should you buy nothing but bran, or allow kids some sweets? Do you throw out the scale, or teach toddlers to read labels? This confusion is just one symptom of America’s issues with body image and food. In a 2003 Columbia University study, 40% of first- through fifth-grade girls surveyed reported they were trying to lose weight. These girls are ages six to eleven! More than half of teenage girls and a third of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors like fasting, smoking, diet pills, vomiting, and abusing laxatives. Among boys, steroids have become… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/15/11 at 08:24 AM
Tiger Mother or Pussy Cat?
Amy Chua, “Tiger Mom,” has got me thinking about parenting. For most of us with children, parenting is an everyday job, both a joy and a challenge. We may deliberately consider how we parent when a specific issue arises, but as a result of Chua’s book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” parents are talking about what effective parenting is and what the goal of parenting should be. Chua asserts that Chinese parents raise successful children as a result of their strict discipline and uncompromising values. To be honest, I had never heard of any particular group of parents raising children that are more successful than other groups of people, but I guess that depends on how you define success. Through the controversy her book has aroused, Chua has helped to identify many important questions that parents may want… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/01/11 at 10:30 AM
Empower Your Child with a Personal Safety Check-up
One of our most important jobs as parents is caring for our children’s physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. The world today often doesn’t feel very safe. We walk a fine line between instilling excessive fear in our children and imparting a healthy sense of caution to them. What we want is to build our kids’ self-confidence so that eventually they’ll be able to take care of themselves. Along the way, they need to know we are here to listen, guide, and support them. When it comes to personal safety, age three is not too young to begin prevention education about “good touch” and “bad touch.” As children grow, we should renew this conversation annually, in a clear and calm way, making age-appropriate adjustments as their maturity and understanding grow. We need to do this just as we would discuss… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 02/15/11 at 11:12 AM
Warning! Is Your Home a Drug Danger Zone?
How often do you check your smoke alarm? How frequently do you check your refrigerator for spoiled food? When was the last time you cleaned out your medicine cabinet? Most parents would not have any trouble answering the first two questions, but they may not have given any thought to the last question. With the increasing abuse of over-the-counter and prescription medications by teens, not knowing what is in your medicine cabinet can make you an unwitting accomplice to a dangerous phenomenon. According to the Partnership for a Drug Free America, • 1 in 5 teens has tried Vicodin, a powerful and addictive narcotic pain reliever. • 1 in 10 has tried OxyContin, another prescription narcotic. • 1 in 10 has used the stimulants Ritalin or Adderall for non-medical purposes. • 1 in 11 teens has admitted to getting… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 02/01/11 at 11:19 AM
Are We Overscheduling Our Children?
We all know the proverb: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” As I think of the demands placed on children these days, I often worry that we might be raising a generation of Jacks. When I recall my childhood, I remember spontaneous games of dodge ball and Red Rover in our neighborhood, and spending hours in the woods behind our houses exploring tree forts, pretending we were special agents being chased by “bad guys.” We’d lie on our backs seeing animal shapes in the clouds, and trying to make whistling sounds by blowing through blades of grass. Even now, decades later, the sweet smell of honeysuckle on a warm breeze instantly takes me back and I feel a rush of joy remembering that sense of pure freedom. Back then, there was plenty of time for… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/18/11 at 11:34 AM
Adoption: Is it right for me?
I just recently came across another newspaper article about an adoption that went terribly wrong. These sensationalized stories about adoption gone awry occasionally occur, but there are many more examples of how adoptions go well. So, are you considering adoption? Are you worried?…confused?…excited? Wondering, “Will I be a good parent? How will the adoption process go for me?” Or perhaps someone in your family or a friend is involved in adopting a child. There are so many questions, and it’s important to get the facts straight. First of all, you are not alone. Many children are adopted every day and they come from all over the world. All families go through a similar process of searching for answers to their questions and dealing with their concerns about adoption, whether domestic or international. The questions and feelings that surface during… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/04/11 at 12:36 PM
Climb Every Mountain
Congratulations! If you are reading this, your child is going to graduate from high school this spring and move on to college next year. Take time to celebrate this accomplishment. Your child has had quite a climb from elementary school, through middle school and now high school, and has reached this pinnacle through hard work and perseverance. Along the way the trail has been filled with rocks, unpaved pathways, and perhaps treacherous terrain. There have been difficulties and successes. Your child has been able to use maps, a compass, guides, guidebooks and other resources to help navigate the “derech,” the way, to reach his or her goals. After the college applications are submitted, the waiting begins. This can be a very stressful time. Everything your child has done is now being evaluated. He or she may be feeling anxious… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/21/10 at 11:11 AM
DO YOU DREAD “THE TALK”?
Are you avoiding having “The Talk” with your children? Usually the things we avoid doing and procrastinate about just grow bigger and bigger—-as does our anxiety. Those anxious feelings and avoiding behaviors just feed on each other. And during that feeding frenzy, they also gnaw away at our self-confidence. No wonder you may be putting off having that talk. Maybe you’ve had similar experiences with anxiety and self-doubt at other times in your life. Have you noticed how murky our thinking gets when we are in that swirling mess? If we get stuck thinking that teaching about intimacy and sexuality is just about getting up the nerve to have “The Talk,” then we need to think again—- more clearly! What other things have you taught your children or communicated to a loved one that took a single talk? Did… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/07/10 at 01:48 PM
Do I really need to talk to my teen about AIDS?
Yes, you really do! Over 1 million people in the United States are infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, and 21% of those who are infected do not know they have HIV, according to the Center for Disease Control’s current statistics. HIV does not discriminate. Anyone can become infected if he or she engages in risky behaviors. And there still is no cure and no vaccine. So it’s really important to talk about it. World AIDS Day on December 1 is a perfect opportunity to open a conversation. You may have put off talking about HIV/AIDS with your teen because you feel uncomfortable or lack enough knowledge about the topic. Or maybe you didn’t realize that it is necessary to talk about it. Some parents fear that a discussion about sex and other risky behaviors will encourage… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/23/10 at 10:18 AM
It’s 7 P.M. Saturday Night. Do You Know Where Your Teens Are?
Remember the good old days before Facebook, cell phones, and words like uploading, downloading, texting and lol? Parents use to be home when teens went out on Saturday night. They knew their kids’ friends, dates, and where they were going. Sometimes they even took pictures (not “pics”) of their teens. Parents complained about the phone ringing in the kitchen every five minutes, and in some cases they even screened the calls and knew who was calling before the kids all headed out. Things have certainly changed today. After all, it’s a new century. Those teens from the Baby Boom generation have grown up and have become parents themselves. They were always “cool,” and they want their kids to think they still are. But the new “cool” for parents means planning and enjoying their own activities, while still taking responsibility… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/09/10 at 10:14 AM
My Child, a Bully? No Way.
October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Several weeks ago, the United States Department of Education convened the first ever “Federal Partners in Bullying Prevention Summit,” bringing together public and private sector organizations to develop an informed plan for preventing and responding to bullying in schools. This gathering came in reaction to several recent high profile incidents of kids who committed suicide after being targets of persistent bullying. We are glad the Department of Education is taking this issue seriously. But it isn’t only up to the schools to protect our children; parents need to step up as well. In the “olden days,” a bully was pretty easy to spot. It was the big kid on the playground who intimidated classmates and shook them down for their lunch money. While physical aggression still exists, today bullying is usually more subtle… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 10/26/10 at 10:27 AM
Cyberbullying Destroys Lives
It’s hard to turn on the television without hearing a report concerning another incident of Cyberbullying. Case in point: the story of Rutgers freshman Tyler Clementi, who took his own life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge on September 30 after his roommate and another student broadcast a very private moment virally over the Internet. Bullying is not something new – but now it is taking different and more insidious forms. Cell phones and the Internet make it easier and more tempting than traditional face to face bullying. The potential audience is bigger and the impact far more devastating because something on the Internet is harder to erase than a mean comment left on the bathroom wall. Also, the fact that the tormentors can remain anonymous encourages them to write things they would never say if their target… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 10/12/10 at 09:00 AM
“The Little Engine That Could…”
As parents, when we hear that our child is trying out for the sports team, a theater production, or student government, we are thrilled. We support and encourage our child. But…often, deep down inside of us, we worry, and fear sets in. What if he isn’t chosen? What if she doesn’t make it? My child will be crushed, devastated. We panic, fearing that a rejection will harm our child for life. But actually, the opposite can happen—if you let it. Feeling rejected is a natural consequence of putting ourselves out there. We grow with each learning experience, both positive and negative. Many parents tell me that they fear their child’s self-esteem will plummet if she is rejected. My philosophy is the exact opposite. Through experiences of trying out, but losing, and continuing to try again, our self-esteem rises. Believing… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 09/28/10 at 10:03 AM
A Sukkot Message: Eating Together Is Good For Families!
Overnight, it seems as if Baltimore has begun a frenzy of building. Out come the boards and metal poles, sheets of canvas and vinyl, bamboo poles and mats, clusters of fruits and colorful decorations. It must be Sukkot! For thousands of years, Jews have erected temporary huts, which become our homes for the week of this beautiful holiday. The weather is usually lovely, inviting us to be outdoors. Sukkot offers a wonderful opportunity for families to gather around the dinner table, under the stars. For a few days, we can put aside the distractions of TV, the computer, and household chores, and celebrate the holiday and our blessings. Even though the succah is fragile, what gives it stability is the opportunity for the family to be together. The primary way of fulfilling the mitzvah of “dwelling” in the succah… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 09/14/10 at 08:20 AM
Have We Talked Lately?
It’s 6:40 a.m. when the alarm goes off. Parents begin their busy and jam-packed day. Children go off to school, hopefully having had breakfast and taking all of their belongings (homework, books, lunch and sports equipment), while parents rush to get to work on time. Perhaps this morning parent and child have managed to exchange a few words. When afternoon arrives, many of our children are off to after-school programs, sports or Hebrew school. Parents arrive at the end of the day to pick up their kids, and then the regimen of dinner, homework and bathing begins. Maybe, if the family is lucky, they have been able to engage in some down time before the children are in bed again. And then it begins all over again the next day. Does this scenario sound familiar? As I re-read this… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/31/10 at 08:00 AM
Back to School: Adoptive Families Find Their Place
Summer’s coming to an end. The days are shorter and the nights are getting cooler. September is just around the corner. You’ve already bought your children all their school supplies, and they’re getting excited! As you’re helping your fourth grade daughter, Susie, try on clothes to see what still fits, suddenly she blurts out that a child on the playground last year asked her: “Are you REALLY adopted??” You realize that Susie’s getting nervous about returning to school. In fact, lots of children feel anxious about going back to school, for various reasons. However, adopted children face some special issues. Often people ask them questions that feel intrusive. These questions may come from ignorance or curiosity, but sometimes other kids are just trying to learn and understand. Like most kids, adopted children don’t like feeling different. How can parents… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/17/10 at 10:28 AM
The Virtual Village
For someone who spends her days studying and speaking with today’s youth, it’s easy to look negatively at the newest forms of communication such as Facebook, Twitter, chat rooms and IMs. There’s nothing like training from the FBI, coupled with statistics, to make you want to pull the plug on any and all electronic forms of communication. But the fact is that they are here to stay. The youth of today, the Millenials (born after 1980), have only known life with a computer or cell phone. So, let’s put a positive spin on life on the electronic highway. Not too many generations ago, families lived close to each other. The village did, in fact, raise children. Kids would run down the street, safely moving from house to house. Friends, family members and neighbors kept an eye on them and… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/03/10 at 11:47 AM
Help! I Have a Teenager.
Hormones are raging. My identity is a mystery. I need something nice to wear. An adolescent describing adolescence Take the above quote, throw in some anger, intense mood swings, grandiosity, a ravenous appetite and wanting to run in a pack of friends, and you begin to get the adolescence picture. Common knowledge says that teens are a difficult group to manage. It’s not until your own child treats you with disdain one minute, and with disrespect the next, that whatever you thought you understood about teens turns to mush. That age is understandable, even humorous, when it’s someone else’s kid. No parent gets through without questioning, “Is this behavior out of the normal range?” Anna Freud’s take on this was: “To be normal during the adolescent period is by itself abnormal.” It… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 07/20/10 at 09:59 AM
How Do U ReL8?
With the proliferation of texting, Facebook, and other forms of electronic communication, it seems that the definition of communication is changing. How are these changes affecting how young people relate to one another? In a recent column, Garrison Keillor lamented the lack of good, old fashioned conversation. He reported that the Pew Research Center found that 75% of 12- to 17-year-olds have cell phones and text, on average, 50 messages a day; many send 100 messages or more. Are children and teens today missing out on learning the nuances of conversation, of engaging in small talk, making eye contact, and interpreting facial expressions? Are these things still important? Keillor thinks these are “some essential steps in gaining intimacy,” and our kids are skipping them. He believes this lack of face to face contact amounts to “passing up a free… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 07/06/10 at 11:00 AM
Can We Stop Dating Abuse?
In the wake of the murder of Yeardley Love by her University of Virginia classmate George Huguely, we are all forced to confront the ugly reality of abuse and violence in teen and young adult relationships. Just after Love’s tragic death, The Baltimore Sun reported that “distraught students are searching their memories for warning signs they might have missed.” Indeed, parents and many other concerned adults also are asking: how could this have happened? Could it have been prevented? Parents need to be asking these questions while their children are still living at home. If we teach our pre-teens and teens what a healthy relationship looks and feels like, if we teach them how to recognize and deal with the warning signs of an unhealthy dating situation, we will decrease their chances of becoming involved in abusive relationships… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 06/22/10 at 01:22 PM
READY, SET, GO!—TO CAMP
Your child is counting down the days ‘til the end of the school year. Before you know it, the day of departure for sleepaway camp will be here. You’ve gone shopping for clothes, stamped your child’s name on piles of T-shirts and socks, and started packing the duffel bag. But in all the excitement, have you been preparing your child – and yourself—emotionally for this summer camp experience? You may be feeling both happy and scared for your child. What if he doesn’t like it? What if she gets homesick? Try really hard to keep your worries to yourself, or share them with your spouse or friends, but don’t pack them as extra baggage for your child to take along. Here are some suggestions to ease the way: • Take a positive approach. Present camp to your child as… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 06/08/10 at 09:06 AM
They’re Back! When Your College Student Comes Home
Your college student has made it through freshman year and is returning home for the summer. How are you feeling about this? If you’re experiencing a mixture of anticipation and anxiety, you’re not alone. Get ready for some changes and challenges. College students have become used to living without parental rules and oversight. They may bristle when parents express their expectations or just assume all the old rules are still in effect. They may or may not be willing to participate in the life of the family, take on chores, or tolerate parental concern about where they are at midnight. The concept of “curfew” is now obsolete to them. Don’t be surprised or hurt if your young adult wants to spend most of his time with old or new friends, or by himself. He may withdraw from the intensity… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 05/25/10 at 08:27 AM
Senior Week: A Parent’s Letter
To My Child, I am letting you go to Senior Week, but that doesn’t mean I won’t worry. I know you want me to start treating you like an adult by giving you some space and some trust. But I also know that sometimes people your age think that nothing can ever happen to them; they don’t really think about some of the risks they are taking and how the consequences can haunt them forever. I love you and don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be one of those parents who get the nightmare call in the middle of the night from the police, the hospital, or G-d forbid, the morgue. So, here are my Senior Week Commandments. Please read them, take them seriously, and come home to me safely. 1. Always have someone with you,… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 05/11/10 at 09:04 AM
Perplexities of Parenthood
What’s one thing that just about all parents have in common? Worrying about their children! This is something parents do, across every socio-economic class, ethnic and religious group and school district. Some parents worry about their children’s behavior, but may be afraid to talk about it because of shame, fear of being blamed, family loyalty, or simply not knowing whom to consult. Other parents joke about psychiatric illness and adolescence being the same thing. As children we remember feeling as if our parents had all the power. We wondered why they got to make all the decisions, when quite frankly, sometimes their reasoning seemed loose or inconsistent. Now that we are parents, we wonder where all that power and certainty went. We question whether there has been some genetic “skip a generation” occurrence. As parents we are not feeling… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 04/27/10 at 08:37 AM
Perils of Prom
As prom season approaches, the most important things on my daughter’s mind may be her dress, make-up and hair. But those are only minor details compared to what’s going on in my head. I’m thinking about inexperienced teenage drivers, alcohol, and risk taking, and I’m just praying that my daughter and all the other teens attending proms will come home safely. Although I believe they are “good kids,” we parents know that even “good kids” can make “not so good” choices. Some startling facts: • According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, traffic crashes are the leading cause of death for teenagers in America. Mile for mile, teenagers are involved in three times as many fatal crashes as all other drivers. • This problem is aggravated by inexperience and immaturity, combined with speed, drinking and driving, other drug… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 04/13/10 at 10:20 AM
“Rites of Spring”
A summer job is a rite of passage for many teenagers, and spring is the time to search. But is the recession upsetting your teen’s plan of finding a job? Will your child be competing with this year’s crop of (so far) jobless college graduates desperately seeking work? Right now, you’re probably worrying that your teen won’t find something productive to do, and will just fritter away the summer months by sleeping late and watching TV. And if your teen isn’t the “go-getter” type, you may be feeling frustrated and tired of all the nagging to get started looking for work. The good news is that most traditional summer jobs still exist. Camps, ice cream stores, pools, and country clubs still need cheap and temporary help that teens are in the best position to provide. While some jobs are… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/29/10 at 09:49 AM
Have your cake, and eat it, too!
I was a guest at a birthday party for a nine-year-old, when the cake was brought out. There were your usual oohs and aahs, but they were overshadowed by several girls saying they couldn’t eat the cake. It wasn’t because they didn’t like cake—quite the opposite. One girl said, “I like it too much…I’ll get fat… I’ll lose my friends.” Another agreed: “Cake is bad…especially the icing…don’t eat it! You’ll get fat.” Parents, listen up! These girls are nine years old! What will they think and sound like in middle school and high school? The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, in a 2008 survey, found that 80% of girls in grades three to six displayed body image concerns and dissatisfaction with their appearance. Nor are boys immune from these preoccupations. What can we do? First, we need… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/16/10 at 10:16 AM
This Reality Bites
Snookie, The Situation, Jenelle, Farrah (no, not Fawcett), Heidi, Spencer, Lauren, Kristin. Do you know these people? I’ll bet your kids do. Just to clue you in, they are the “stars” of MTV’s wildly popular “Reality” shows – Jersey Shore, 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, Laguna Beach, and The Hills, to name a few. And our kids can’t get enough. Defenders say, “They’re just harmless entertainment, a guilty pleasure.” But are they harmless? Aren’t these shows making celebrities of teen-age mothers and twenty-somethings who spend their days and nights drinking, fighting, and hooking up? Should we be afraid that our kids really buy in to this “Reality?” Is this the perception of “cool” that they hope to emulate? Are these our children’s role models? Given the overwhelming crowds flocking to live appearances by these Reality stars and the ever… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/02/10 at 09:54 AM
The Mind – Body Connection: Listening to Our Teens
When I walked into the conference on “Promoting Self Esteem and Positive Body Image” at Sheppard Pratt early a couple of Sundays ago, I felt the welcome from the participants. After the cold and snowy day on Shabbat, the warmth of the community felt wonderful. I was there as a presenter, but also as a member of the Jewish community helping others. The program was sponsored by The Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt, The Orthodox Union, Jewish Community Services, and Hadassah. The joining together of all these groups provided a connection of mutual caring. We were welcomed by Dr. Harry Brandt and Dr. Steve Crawford, co-directors of the Center for Eating Disorders. Both of these physicians are committed, with their professional staff, to guiding others throughout Baltimore in their recovery from eating disorders. Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb,… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 02/09/10 at 10:54 AM
Pre-Gaming: Not a Sport
As parents, it’s hard to keep up with all the ways kids find to take risks. For example, why are more and more teens “pre-gaming” before they attend the “real” party or event? Isn’t it satisfying enough to attend the actual event? I recently spoke with some teens, who told me that their generation coined the term “pre-gaming” to describe: - A get-together with “your own” group before the event - A way for you and your friends to begin the evening and get a little”tipsy” - A way to let the event you are going to get started so that you are not the first ones to arrive - A place to meet up with “your” friends so that designated drivers can be chosen and cars can be left behind in order to go together in safe, small… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/26/10 at 09:13 AM
Parental Power over the Media
Our children are constantly inundated with images that provide messages over which we have no control. There is the thin and beautiful person who gets the “right” guy or girl, the allure of images that promote drinking alcohol, the “reality” shows that make people’s homes and relationships public, and, of course, the media that nullify the negative behavior of sports figures and music stars. As parents we worry how these images will affect our children and teens. Will anything we taught them make a difference? Whose voice will be heard? Parents, now there is a media tool for you to use to make sure that it’s your voice your child hears. If I Knew Then What I Know Now is a series of four video vignettes of compelling, true personal stories told by families and friends in our community… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/12/10 at 02:11 PM
Raising Informed Children
The Obama Administration will decide policy for Afghanistan - to send more troops, or adopt another formula for “victory.” Iran has, under the American timetable, to the end of the year to make a decision regarding its nuclear program. Israel, meanwhile, to paraphrase New York Times columnist, Tom Friedman, is perceived as wanting “negotiations without a deal, while the Palestinians seek a deal without negotiations.” Here at home, the Senate will debate health care policy. Unemployment, and the economy as a whole, still await major policy initiatives. Climate change remains to be addressed. What do all these issues have in common? However they are decided, people’s lives will be dramatically affected. Yet, while the debate may rage over these crucially important matters, voters seem more concerned about vampire movies, the latest video game, and football. Why is it that… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/28/09 at 02:41 PM
Divorce: A Different December Dilemma
The holiday season can be a stressful and bittersweet time for children with divorced or separated parents. Children of divorce may experience absolute dread at the thought of the holidays, especially if Mom and Dad are constantly at odds. Even with the most civil relationship, it is difficult for older children who are not living at home to decide how they want to spend the holidays. For younger children, rushing from one “celebration” to the next in the name of “fairness” or to comply with a visitation agreement may not be fun or meaningful. Children will have an easier time adjusting to visitation schedules and holiday schedules if their parents are respectful of one another and are working to adjust to their new roles as ex-spouses and co-parents. I know this is easier said than done, but holidays are… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/15/09 at 02:29 PM
Holidays on a Budget
Okay, I am telling you upfront this is not going to be a very sexy column. I guess when you do not have to worry about your finances, gift giving can be sexy and dramatic, but I submit that gift giving on a budget can be fun and meaningful. Now more than in the past, the stress of holidays need not take an emotional and financial toll. If a big family dinner is more than you can afford for Hanukkah or New Year’s, consider a pot luck dinner or maybe latkes, jelly donuts, games and token gift giving. Remember Martha Stewart and Oprah have people on staff who get paid really well to make everything look magical. We have friends and family who are just as busy and stressed as we are. Ask for help, keep celebrations low key,… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/01/09 at 02:08 PM
Thanks for What?
Last night I wrote up my grocery list for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving dinner, at my house, is a family tradition. Another tradition we have is to go around the table and say one thing that we are thankful for. It can be as silly as, “I’m glad it is almost Hanukah,” or as serious as, “I’m thankful we are all healthy and able to be together.” Anticipating this tradition has got me thinking about how we as parents can instill a sense of appreciation or thankfulness in our children. One form of appreciation is to show respect for someone or something of value. So I guess we start to teach our children appreciation when they are very young simply by loving them. As they become more aware and see how respectful we are to them and to others, they will,… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/17/09 at 01:26 PM
Volunteering: A Great Family Activity
Every now and then, juggling work, parenting, and family responsibilities causes me to disconnect from the simple pleasures that help me feel closer to my family. Cooking a meal, playing a board game, even going for a walk together can bring a family closer. Volunteering for community service projects is another way to strengthen family ties. There are many reasons for a family to volunteer. Community service strengthens our community, and when the community is healthy, it benefits us as individuals as well. Then there are the satisfaction and pride that come from helping others. Putting the needs of others before your own feels good. Another benefit of community service is that it can strengthen your family. Committing your time and effort to an organization or cause of your choice can result in a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/03/09 at 04:00 PM
When Someone Close is Seriously Ill
Do you have a family member who is seriously ill, or does your child have a friend who is ill? As difficult as it can be for adults to deal with this, often it is just as hard for children. Deciding what to say to the person who is ill can be difficult, but our tendency to avoid that conversation may make the situation more uncomfortable. It may be better for adults to handle some situations differently from how a child would, but in the case of a sick friend or family member, the ways to show concern and offer support are pretty much the same. Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, believes that the “greatest gift you can give your seriously ill friend is the gift of your presence.” If you live nearby,… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 10/20/09 at 11:12 AM
Technology and Cell Phones
Teenagers’ use of cell phones, both for conversing and texting, continues to be a concern for parents, especially parents of teenage drivers. The data about the dangers of phone use while driving is compelling. AAA and “Seventeen” magazine surveyed 17-year-old drivers and found that 61% of teens admitted to risky driving behaviors and 46% said they text while driving. William Van Tassel, Ph.D., manager of AAA Driver Training, reports that “Motor vehicle crashes are the number one killer of teens, claiming more than 6,000 15- to 20-year-olds each year.” Fortunately, now the Maryland General Assembly, as well as legislatures in other states, has recognized the dangers and passed a bill prohibiting texting while operating a motor vehicle. The Delegate John Arnick Electronic Communications Traffic Safety Act went into effect on October 1. Violators are guilty of a misdemeanor and… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 10/07/09 at 01:08 PM
Eat Dinner with your Family
Well, summer is a distant memory we are back to the school day routine. Casual barbeques and picnics at the pool during the week will have to wait for next summer. Re-adjusting to the structure of the school year is always difficult for me. With my household up and buzzing at 6:00 a.m., throwing chicken on the grill at 7:30 p.m. is not an option, and dinner becomes more of a chore than a pleasure. With this in mind, I would like to share an essay by my colleague, Susan Kurlander, Health Educator with Jewish Community Services’ Prevention Education program. This piece put getting dinner ready during the hectic school year in a whole new light for me. I hope that, after you read it, making dinner will seem more appealing to you as well. It’s called What Your… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 09/22/09 at 09:15 AM
Moms
I am feeling more like an ATM than a mom these days. It’s time for school supplies, school clothes, a haircut, activity fees. Seems like all I’ve been doing is schlepping here and there for my son to get what he needs to go to a place he’d rather not be at. Oy Vay. To make matters even more expensive, we have to buy art supplies. Art supplies are consumable and we spend hundreds of dollars a year on them. Why do I do this? In my mind’s eye, the paints are there, the canvas is there, the assignment is due and my child is pacing back and forth in a panic because he cannot think of a topic for his assignment. I know I’m projecting as the school year has just begun, but if history repeats itself, I… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 09/03/09 at 10:04 AM
Back to School Stress Busters
“As you run into your favorite retail store to grab a bottle of sunscreen for the beach, you stop dead in your tracks. The outdoor summer displays have been replaced by school supply bins - and even fall decorations. Glancing at your phone, you realize that it is still August and you do have a little time left before the yellow buses start rolling again. The problem is, your heart has already stopped beating and your head is spinning.” This is how my colleague, Colleen Brady Lippens, Health Educator with JCS Prevention Education, describes the jolt we parents get as back-to-school stress sets in. She continues: “Some parents greet the familiar buzz of back-to-school preparations with excited anticipation, while others would rather have a root canal. Children also often experience mixed emotions and some stress as September looms. In… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/20/09 at 09:40 AM
To My Child Going Off to College, A Parent’s Letter
I don’t know which gives me more goose bumps—the day you went off to pre-school the first time, when I felt such a strong combination of love and worry, or now that you are headed off to college. I am so proud of how you have grown during these past years. I am writing this letter because I care about you and what happens to you. College will open up new horizons, and I am so excited for you. Along with much more freedom and independence, you will also face some challenges and pressures. Please ask yourself if what you are about to do is really worth the risk, whether in the short term or for the long run; and are you making a healthy choice? Your intent may be to have fun, but what will the impact be… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/11/09 at 12:28 PM
Back to School Stress Busters
“As you run into your favorite retail store to grab a bottle of sunscreen for the beach, you stop dead in your tracks. The outdoor summer displays have been replaced by school supply bins - and even fall decorations. Glancing at your phone, you realize that it is still August and you do have a little time left before the yellow buses start rolling again. The problem is, your heart has already stopped beating and your head is spinning.” This is how my colleague, Colleen Brady Lippens, Health Educator with JCS Prevention Education, describes the jolt we parents get as back-to-school stress sets in. She continues: “Some parents greet the familiar buzz of back-to-school preparations with excited anticipation, while others would rather have a root canal. Children also often experience mixed emotions and some stress as September looms. In… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/04/09 at 12:09 PM
SUNNY SUMMER Adding the third S: SAFETY
After an often overscheduled school year, both kids and parents look forward to these sunny summer days, which promise a laid back lifestyle with lots of free time. That can be good news, but summer also presents challenges. I consulted JCS Health Educator Susan Kurlander, who offered some tips on this topic. “For teens, laziness seems like the rainbow they’ve been watching from afar. Their parents have told us that they fear that more free time means more opportunity to use marijuana or other drugs, engage in underage drinking and/or sexual activity. What can parents do to make the most of summer, yet still keep their pre-adolescents and teens safe? Have your kids check in. Tell them how important it is to contact you by phone or text message during the day. Ask neighbors, friends and family to be… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 07/21/09 at 02:17 PM
Texting and Teens
The other night I was driving to Hunt Valley Mall to pick my son up from a late movie. While I was driving on Route 83, my cell phone indicated that I had received a message. Thinking my son may have left me a voicemail about a change of plans, I glanced at the phone. He had sent me a text message. This left me with a variety of choices, none of which really appealed to me. I could read the message while driving 65 miles an hour, I could pull over to the shoulder , or I could continue on my way and ignore the message. I chose to ignore the message for the time being. But I couldn’t help thinking about why my son would send me something to read when he knew I was driving, and… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 07/07/09 at 09:53 AM
Telling Other Parents About A Child’s Drug Use
High school proms are over, seniors have graduated, and graduation parties are in full swing. A friend of mine heard that a child we have known for years was seen drinking heavily at a graduation party. She asked me my thoughts about her going to the child’s mom and talking with her. I presented this dilemma to JCS Prevention Education experts Howard Reznick and Susan Kurlander. Here is their response. “It’s hard to be the messenger of unpleasant information, especially when it involves another child. The risks we take when we do this are numerous; an angry reaction from the other child’s parents, and our child being talked about or possibly losing a friendship are just two potential ramifications. The only reward we may get—and it’s a critical one—is that we may be saving a life. Supposing that you… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 06/23/09 at 09:40 AM
Judging Book by its Cover
In the classic Jewish text, Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers)*, Rabbi Meir advises: ”Do not look at the jug but what is in it.” A recent example of this wisdom is Miss Susan Boyle. The YouTube video of this woman on “Britain’s Got Talent” was amazing. To be honest, I thought it was staged until she started to sing. People in the audience were hissing when Susan Boyle came out, and she was clearly not comfortable performing. Then she opened her mouth and sang, “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables and you know the rest. Millions of people have seen the video on YouTube. Here was this ordinary woman with an extraordinary voice. Her voice alone is enough to garner the praise and attention she is receiving. But her appearance seemed to make her audition more of… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 06/09/09 at 12:51 PM
Senior Week: A Parent’s Letter
To My Child, I am letting you go to Senior Week, but that doesn’t mean I won’t worry. I know you want me to start treating you like an adult by giving you some space and some trust. But I also know that sometimes people your age think that nothing can ever happen to them; they don’t really think about some of the risks they are taking and how the consequences can haunt them forever. I love you and don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be one of those parents who get the nightmare call in the middle of the night from the police, the hospital, or G-d forbid, the morgue. So, here are my Senior Week Commandments. Please read them, take them seriously, and come home to me safely. 1. Always have someone with you,… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 05/19/09 at 09:57 AM
Bullying
The tenth anniversary of the Columbine High School tragedy offers a stark reminder to re-examine the issue of bullying in our schools. Colleen Lippens, a Health Educator with Jewish Community Services, presents prevention education programs for staff, faculty, students, and parents in local schools. No school is immune from the impact of bullying. Here are Colleen’s comments on the issue. It’s all too easy to dismiss bullying as a rite of passage or “normal” kid behavior. However, the statistics are hard to ignore. The National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center reports that almost 30% of youth in the United States admit either to having been a victim of a bully or to having engaged in bullying behavior. Bullying can be physical, verbal, or relational (attempting to damage a child’s relationships with others by gossip, rumors, teasing and/or exclusion). Many… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 05/06/09 at 11:26 AM
“A Good Night’s Sleep”
Sleep has become a big business. Mattress companies compete by promising the best night’s sleep. Ads for herbal supplements and prescription drugs are promising a safe, restful sleep. Psychologists are writing books on how to get our children to sleep, and sleep labs are full of people trying to understand why they cannot get a good night’s sleep. How can something so necessary be so hard to do? Eating is necessary and I never have a problem with that! There are nights, however, when I absolutely cannot get to sleep. It seems that many of our children are having the same problem. What’s a parent to do? Keep in mind that you cannot make a child go to sleep. But you can create an atmosphere conducive to sleep. Routine is comforting to young children, so a fixed bedtime and… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 04/21/09 at 11:33 AM
Children’s questions – “I don’t know”
How often do you ask your child a question and hear, “I don’t know” as the response? Many parents hear “I don’t know” (IDK) quite often. Sometimes our questions are conversational, so we accept the IDK. But there are other times when the answer is important and IDK is not acceptable. Whether your child is four years old or twenty, there are times when it is reasonable to expect an answer. What does IDK mean? Does it mean: I don’t want to talk about it now, I don’t want to give you information, I felt uncomfortable asking my teacher the question, I forgot to ask, I asked and I forgot the answer? Questions are central to the holiday of Passover, starting with the tradition of the youngest child asking the Four Questions. The seder gives us an opportunity to… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 04/06/09 at 09:36 AM
Rihanna, Chris Brown, and Our Teenagers
Like most people, I heard about the alleged beating of Rihanna and all the gory details. It was during this time that I learned that Chris Brown is 19 years old. That got me thinking about teen dating abuse and how important it is to be aware of the warning signs of an abusive relationship. Early signs of an abusive or controlling relationship are usually isolation and anxiety. Girls in these relationships often withdraw from friends and avoid social situations. Eventually a girl may withdraw from her family and spend time exclusively with her boyfriend. Abusive boyfriends tend to impose social restrictions in an attempt to foster an emotional dependency, and this can make it hard for a girl to leave. (By the way, I heard Rihanna and Chris had a reunion and might reconcile). If you believe your… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/24/09 at 09:24 AM
The Importance of Please and Thank You
Have you ever gone out for a nice dinner, only to be seated next to a family whose children think your table makes a great base for a game of tag? If so, were the parents of these children oblivious (or seemingly oblivious), or were they willing to set limits and instruct their children how to act properly? My parents would have considered this an example of the need to teach a child manners. Dr. Barbara Howard, an assistant professor of pediatrics at The Johns Hopkins School of Medicine and an expert on behavior and development, believes that yesterday’s manners are today’s social skills. No matter what you call it, children need to be taught that the feelings of other people matter. Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, maintains that it is the parents’ job to teach children that their… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/10/09 at 08:36 AM
Startling Statistics
Half of the students raised their hands! Howard Reznick, Manager of Jewish Community Services’ Prevention Education, reports he and JCS Health Educator Susan Kurlander recently had a sobering experience. “We were at one of the local Hebrew day schools presenting a prevention education program on drug awareness for 7th graders,” Howard said. “It was my first time back in a classroom in many years. I noticed how attentive all the students were. Our talk was clearly not just academic to them. I veered off slightly from our usual focus and asked: ‘Please put your heads down and close your eyes so no one can see if you raise your hand.’ ‘Now, if you are concerned or worried about either of your parents’ use of drugs or alcohol, please raise your hand.’ Half of the students raised their hands. Their… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 02/24/09 at 10:49 AM
Lemons to Lemonade
When you are given lemons, make lemonade, says the old expression. “That lesson learned long ago has helped me get through the challenges of life, including parenting,” says Karen Nettler, Director of Community Connections at Jewish Community Services. The meltdown of our economy is a huge challenge we face today. At the same time, this is an opportunity to teach our children healthy coping skills. As any parent knows, our children turn to us for cues about how to respond in certain situations. Difficult to admit, but how often have we sat down with our kids to teach them necessary money lessons? Are we parents who pride ourselves on giving our children everything they have ever asked for? Do they carry our credit card for gas and other purchases? Do we pay their cell phone bills? If we have… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 02/11/09 at 10:02 AM
The Dog and Pony Show
Do you remember the beer commercial with the dog and the horse that ran repeatedly during last year’s Superbowl? I loved that ad. It was so sweet—it made having a beer seem as innocent as having a diet soda. And that was exactly what that ad was supposed to do, according to my colleagues, Susan Kurlander, M.Ed., and Howard Reznick, LCSW-C, Prevention Education Specialists at Jewish Community Services. Last year 14 million viewers under age 18 watched the Superbowl; 7 million of them were under age 12, and I’ll bet most of those kids saw that ad at least once during the game. I’m all for entertaining commercials, but let’s look at that ad critically. The ad was about a very cute, smart dog helping a sad, lonely horse be a part of the T-E-A-M- the Budweiser team. So… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/20/09 at 02:36 PM
Thank You Notes
The holidays are great, but getting kids to write thank-you notes for the gifts they’ve received can be a struggle. Should parents require their children to send notes? Jewish Community Services social worker Joan Grayson Cohen, LCSW-C, agrees that getting your child to write thank-you notes can be a challenge. But it is worth the effort because you are teaching valuable life lessons, such as being gracious about receiving gifts and valuing the gesture of gift giving. Writing thank-you notes also teaches children to think beyond themselves and to make the giver feel appreciated. Taking a little time to express thanks teaches the protocols of civility and consideration, which can be transferred to other situations later in life, such as writing a note after a job interview. Here are some approaches to writing thank-you’s that may alleviate the battles;… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/06/09 at 10:42 AM
Safety
With recent terrorist attacks affecting both Americans and Jews, how can we assure our children that they are safe in this world? If the world sometimes seems like a terrifying place for adults, can you imagine what it feels like to our kids? The recent attacks in India show us that terror is a reality in our lives. We cannot dismiss the deaths and injuries inflicted at the Oberoi and Taj Mahal Palace and Tower hotels in Mumbai as foreign acts that do not affect us at home. Nor can we, as Jews, disconnect from the tragic deaths of Rabbi Gavriel and Rivka Holtzberg and others who were killed at the Chabad-Lubavitch Jewish Center in Mumbai. We have now all been touched by the hatred and violence that are manifested around us. As parents we strive to protect our… read more
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/23/08 at 11:34 AM
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