The holidays are great, but getting kids to write thank-you notes for the gifts they’ve received can be a struggle.  Should parents require their children to send notes?

Jewish Community Services social worker Joan Grayson Cohen, LCSW-C, agrees that getting your child to write thank-you notes can be a challenge.  But it is worth the effort because you are teaching valuable life lessons, such as being gracious about receiving gifts and valuing the gesture of gift giving.  Writing thank-you notes also teaches children to think beyond themselves and to make the giver feel appreciated.  Taking a little time to express thanks teaches the protocols of civility and consideration, which can be transferred to other situations later in life, such as writing a note after a job interview. 

Here are some approaches to writing thank-you’s that may alleviate the battles; they can even make the process fun. 

• Choose a method appropriate to your child’s age. Younger children who don’t write yet might draw a picture.  They can dictate their thanks and Mom or Dad can write down their words.
What a wonderful opportunity to begin teaching your child to write his or her name!

• For children who can write but for whom writing is difficult or who are resisting, here are some creative ideas to encourage them in the process. Children can:
  -Design their own stationery.
  -Cut out a picture of the gift from a magazine or the box and
    tape it in the note.
  -Draw or paint the gift in the thank-you note.

• Make the task manageable.  Don’t be a perfectionist about grammar and spelling. The thanks is more meaningful when it looks like it comes from the child.  Brief notes are fine.  If a child receives many gifts, space out the notes by writing a few each day.

• Be open to different methods of expressing thanks. Today e-mail is acceptable.

• Give your child positive models by sharing appreciative notes you have received, showing how much the thanks means to the giver.

• Purchase thank-you cards with your child before the holidays. This will set up the expectation that notes will be written for gifts received – another way to minimize the conflict.

Whoever thought writing thank-you notes for holiday gifts could teach so many valuable lessons?  A favorite quote, shared by a friend, says, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”  (Aesop’s Fables)

By Donna Kane, MA, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

This discussion previously appeared in The Baltimore Sun blog, “Charm City Moms,” at baltimoresun.com, and is used here with permission of The Sun.

Jewish Community Services offers a wide range of supportive services and resources for you and your family.  To learn more, call 410-466-9200, or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  Questions about parenting?  Send an e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), and check out the Parenting Tip of the Week at http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.