Your child is counting down the days ‘til the end of the school year. Before you know it, the day of departure for sleepaway camp will be here. You’ve gone shopping for clothes, stamped your child’s name on piles of T-shirts and socks, and started packing the duffel bag. But in all the excitement, have you been preparing your child – and yourself—emotionally for this summer camp experience?
You may be feeling both happy and scared for your child. What if he doesn’t like it? What if she gets homesick? Try really hard to keep your worries to yourself, or share them with your spouse or friends, but don’t pack them as extra baggage for your child to take along.
Here are some suggestions to ease the way:
• Take a positive approach. Present camp to your child as an opportunity to make new friends, try new activities, and experience more independence.
• Prepare your child. Let him know that it isn’t unusual to feel a little homesick, especially during quiet times or after another child has said something unkind. Tell him there will be counselors at camp who are used to helping campers with these kinds of problems.
• Don’t tell your child you will come and pick her up if she doesn’t like camp. Yes, you won’t force her to go next year. But let her know that you’re confident she can get help from staff if she needs it. If you get an unhappy letter, call the camp director, who will look into it. Most often, a child writes an unhappy letter just after something upsetting has happened, but is completely over it by the time the letter arrives home.
• Practice separation. A child who has a history of medical difficulties, divorce of parents, or loss of a loved one may have a harder time adjusting to camp. Arrange for your child to do some sleepovers at friends’ homes before camp. Remind him of times when he’s successfully handled being away from his parents in the past (perhaps visiting grandparents) and how he’s grown stronger from those experiences.
• Share important information with the camp staff. Parents seek a balance between giving their child a chance for a fresh start during the summer, and giving staff information that would enable them to be more helpful to the child. For example, if your child has a medical condition or a history of hyperactivity, or if someone at home is seriously ill, let the camp know this. Talk with the camp staff in advance and plan together how to ensure that the camp experience is a positive one for all.
• Write letters. Assure your child that you’ll be writing and keeping her informed about news from home. Kids love to get mail at camp. Write often! Be newsy. It’s OK to talk about missing your child, but try to do it lightly: “The neighborhood pool is empty. Everyone seems to be away. I miss you nagging me for an ice cream.”
• Send care packages. Kids really appreciate getting these, but be sure to respect the camp’s guidelines. You wouldn’t want your box of goodies to be confiscated and never reach your child. If the camp doesn’t allow food, send balloons, joke books and other fun items. It’s great to send things your child can share with other campers.
• Have fun! After you get over the first few days of adjusting to your child’s absence, do something for yourself that you don’t usually get the chance to do. This is also an opportunity to enjoy one on one time with your other child or children.
Before you know it, camp will be over. Don’t be surprised if you see changes in your child: a new confidence, new friends, new requests, like “Can I go back next year?” Even if your child doesn’t ask that question, he or she will return home from camp with a sense of accomplishment and new memories
By Myra Hettleman, LCSW-C, Team Manager, Therapy Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD
Questions about parenting? Send an email to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). To learn more about how JCS can help you solve life’s puzzles, visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org or call 410-466-9200. Jewish Community Services is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.
