Remember the good old days before Facebook, cell phones, and words like uploading, downloading, texting and lol?  Parents use to be home when teens went out on Saturday night.  They knew their kids’ friends, dates, and where they were going.  Sometimes they even took pictures (not “pics”) of their teens.  Parents complained about the phone ringing in the kitchen every five minutes, and in some cases they even screened the calls and knew who was calling before the kids all headed out.

Things have certainly changed today.  After all, it’s a new century.  Those teens from the Baby Boom generation have grown up and have become parents themselves.  They were always “cool,” and they want their kids to think they still are.  But the new “cool” for parents means planning and enjoying their own activities, while still taking responsibility and being aware of their teenagers’ plans. 

Saturday is still a big night for these Baby Boomers to go out to dinner with their friends.  Once they’ve informed their kids of their own Saturday evening plans, parents may not realize what happens next.  In less than two minutes, the word has spread on whose parents are out for the night, via cell phones, Facebook, texting, and the internet:  “LET THE GAMES BEGIN!”  The pre-game location has been announced! And I don’t mean warming up for the big football game.  These pre-games, taking place in the absence of adults, consist of drinking, raiding medicine chests, and getting “in the mood to party” before the big event.  The risky behavior that goes on can easily get out of control. 

So remember, parents, the next time you make plans for a relaxing dinner out with friends, your teens are planning their night, too!  And that night could end in disaster unless you get involved. 

I’d like to share some tips for parents that I’ve learned from teens themselves at the Mitchell David Teen Center.

• Let your teen know another adult is around when you are not.
• Have clear rules about teens entertaining while you are out.
• Let your teens know they are not the only ones whose families have rules.
• Tell the parents of your teen’s friends when you are going to be out.
• Make sure prescription drugs and alcohol are not accessible in your home.
• Befriend your teen on Facebook.
• Keep your cell phone turned on and stay in contact.
• Know your teen’s friends.
• Both parents need to be on the same page.
• Ask questions.  Know where your teen is going and with whom.

Being “cool” and being a friend to your teen are great, but being a parent will help protect your child.  No matter what teens say, text or IM, they want to know their parents will always be there to take care of them and make sure they are safe.

By Stan Scherr, Coordinator, J.O.I.N. for Teens, a collaborative program of Jewish Community Services and the Jewish Community Center, Baltimore, MD

Questions about parenting?  Send an email to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).  To learn more about how JCS can help you solve life’s puzzles, visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org or call 410-466-9200.  Jewish Community Services is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.