How often do you ask your child a question and hear, “I don’t know” as the response? 

Many parents hear “I don’t know” (IDK) quite often.  Sometimes our questions are conversational, so we accept the IDK.  But there are other times when the answer is important and IDK is not acceptable.  Whether your child is four years old or twenty, there are times when it is reasonable to expect an answer.
What does IDK mean?  Does it mean: I don’t want to talk about it now, I don’t want to give you information, I felt uncomfortable asking my teacher the question, I forgot to ask, I asked and I forgot the answer?

Questions are central to the holiday of Passover, starting with the tradition of the youngest child asking the Four Questions.  The seder gives us an opportunity to teach our children to ask—to question and learn.  What a wonderful teaching tool!  Adults can learn from this approach as well.  Parents can encourage their children to ask questions, while also modeling for them how and when to ask a question.  For example, how many of us have asked a question in anger, or asked a question when our child knows we already know the answer?  How many of us start asking questions as soon as our child walks in the door from school? 

As families gather around the seder table, everyone – from the youngest to the oldest - can participate in asking questions and can engage in discussion.  All of us can learn from this dialogue. 

By Donna Kane, MA, consultant on parenting, child development and adolescent issues, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD, and JCS “Parent Talk” blogger at http://www.jewishtimes.com.

Jewish Community Services offers a wide range of supportive services and resources for you and your family. To learn more, call 410-466-9200, or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  Questions about parenting?  Send an e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) and check out the Parenting Tip of the Week at http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.