“As you run into your favorite retail store to grab a bottle of sunscreen for the beach, you stop dead in your tracks.  The outdoor summer displays have been replaced by school supply bins - and even fall decorations.  Glancing at your phone, you realize that it is still August and you do have a little time left before the yellow buses start rolling again.  The problem is, your heart has already stopped beating and your head is spinning.”  This is how my colleague, Colleen Brady Lippens, Health Educator with JCS Prevention Education, describes the jolt we parents get as back-to-school stress sets in.  She continues:
“Some parents greet the familiar buzz of back-to-school preparations with excited anticipation, while others would rather have a root canal.  Children also often experience mixed emotions and some stress as September looms. 

In addition to the logistics of school supplies, class schedules, daily routines, and homework assignments, students are faced with other anxieties.  According to psychiatrist and author Gail Saltz, M.D., kids face different kinds of stress according to their age group.  Pre-K through Grade School children may struggle with separation anxiety, learning and social issues.  The stress often felt by middle school kids includes bullying, cliques, peer pressure, changing academic pressures, and changes in their bodies. 

How can we best teach our kids to deal with these pressures?  The first thing we can do is reduce our own stress.  Our children follow our lead.  When facing the back-to-school stress, remember that most of these issues are temporary. 

Here are some stress-reducing suggestions:

1.  Breathe.  We really do tend to hold our breath.  In the midst of a stressful thought or activity, try breathing in to the count of 4, filling your lungs, and then slowly exhale (both times through the nose) to the count of 8.  This will calm you down almost immediately.

2.  Get organized.  Make a to-do list.  Take an inventory of what you have and what you need.  Keep a copy of the school supply lists in your car.  Checking off items will give you a sense of accomplishment.   

3.  Be prepared.  Don’t wait until the last minute to get school supplies, books, clothes, haircuts, and medical exams.  Let your kids participate in the shopping expeditions and choose notebooks, pencils and pens, etc. that suit their taste, within your budget.

4.  Keep it simple.  Don’t overcomplicate things.  If you are getting paperwork from school, read through the information and put important dates on the family calendar. 

5.  Practice your new night and morning routines.  Have your children gradually transition to an earlier bedtime and start getting up earlier.  If it’s hard, try laying out clothes and making lunch (inviting your kids to try out new menu ideas) the night before. 

6.  Encourage your children to talk about their hopes and fears for the coming year.

7.  Let go of expectations.  Whenever we have expectations of how things are going to turn out or how people should or will behave, we set ourselves up for disappointment.  Instead, go with the feeling of expectancy.  It’s more of a feeling of anticipation and a willingness to go with the flow.

You might even want to create an end-of-summer family activity, such as picnicking in a nearby park, picking fruit together at a farm, seeing a movie, inviting friends over for a BBQ, or just roasting marshmallows together and looking up at the stars in the back yard. Then, take a deep breath and you’ll be ready for a new school year. 

By Donna Kane, MA, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Jewish Community Services offers a wide range of supportive services and resources for you and your family.  To learn more, call 410-466-9200, or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  Questions about parenting?  Send an e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), and check out the Parenting Tip of the Month at http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.