Snookie, The Situation, Jenelle, Farrah (no, not Fawcett), Heidi, Spencer, Lauren, Kristin.  Do you know these people? I’ll bet your kids do.

Just to clue you in, they are the “stars” of MTV’s wildly popular “Reality” shows – Jersey Shore, 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, Laguna Beach, and The Hills, to name a few.  And our kids can’t get enough.  Defenders say, “They’re just harmless entertainment, a guilty pleasure.”  But are they harmless? Aren’t these shows making celebrities of teen-age mothers and twenty-somethings who spend their days and nights drinking, fighting, and hooking up?

Should we be afraid that our kids really buy in to this “Reality?” Is this the perception of “cool” that they hope to emulate? Are these our children’s role models?

Given the overwhelming crowds flocking to live appearances by these Reality stars and the ever growing number of on-line fan pages, I am afraid the answer is “yes,” and frankly, it scares me.

In every generation parents have worried about who their children idolized. There may have been debate over rock stars or political figures. What’s troubling is that the pop icons targeting our kids today aren’t being admired for their talents or their beliefs, but instead, for their antics and their risky behaviors.  So much of what enthralls our kids about these young people’s lives is the very stuff that keeps us up at night worrying about our children and praying they won’t make the same kinds of choices.

An important part of our job as parents is to test our children’s perceptions of reality and to offer alternative role models.  How do we do that, and where do we find more positive influences to combat these media creations?
• Us.  We are the number one influence on our children.  They watch us more closely than we know to see if we practice what we preach.
• Mentors.  Sometimes kids need the positive influence of someone outside the family, someone they can relate to, like a close family friend or a Jewish Big Brother or Big Sister from JCS.
• Positive public figures.  These days it may seem as if many of the athletes and politicians we’ve admired for their good deeds and clean living have turned into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but there are still some good people out there in the public eye. And when someone we’ve held up as an example does fall from grace, it is important to use that as an opportunity to talk with our kids about right and wrong and about the qualities that we value in people.
• Teachers.  A good, dedicated teacher, one who you can tell is really in this for the kids, is absolutely someone to be admired.  Trust me, they’re certainly not doing it for the money or the glory.
• Others.  I invite you to fill in the blank.

MTV is planning even more of these reality shows, so we have our work cut out for us to make sure that the “Real World” our children become grounded in reinforces healthier choices than the ones being hyped by the pop media.

By Jacki Post Ashkin, LCSW-C, Senior Manager, Marketing & Development, Jewish Community Services

Questions about parenting?  Send an email to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).  To learn more about how JCS can help you solve life’s puzzles, visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org or call 410-466-9200.  Jewish Community Services is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore