As parents, it’s hard to keep up with all the ways kids find to take risks.  For example, why are more and more teens “pre-gaming” before they attend the “real” party or event?  Isn’t it satisfying enough to attend the actual event? 

I recently spoke with some teens, who told me that their generation coined the term “pre-gaming” to describe:
-  A get-together with “your own” group before the event
-  A way for you and your friends to begin the evening and get a little”tipsy”
-  A way to let the event you are going to get started so that you are not the first ones to arrive
-  A place to meet up with “your” friends so that designated drivers can be chosen and cars can be left behind in order to go together in safe, small groups
-  For some, a place to go that feels safe, where you can drink so that you don’t have to go to unfamiliar or uncomfortable places sober
-  For some, a venue to get drunk before the night starts so that you feel free enough to engage in sexual activity
-  For some, a “cool” expected pre-requisite to the event.  It would be un-cool not to have been invited to a pre-game.

So the answer to my original question is that for many teens, NO, it is not satisfying enough to attend only the party or the event.  The pre-game is just as essential.

I must confess that I cannot completely disagree with some of the merits teens see in the pre-game concept. It’s a great idea to meet up with “your” friends so that you attend less familiar events as a group. It is smart to let an event get started before you arrive, and then get there to see whether this is the event you really wish to be at. It is even smart to come up with safety plans for the evening.

However, the real concern is the massive drinking that takes place at the pre-games. These teens are all underage, so their drinking is illegal.  Teens have told me that many parents are aware of or are even at home during the pre-game. This makes them legally responsible for the illegal behavior of these teens. In addition, we are seeing younger high school teens, who do not know their limits, at these pre-gaming events, consuming great quantities of alcohol in short periods of time. Although they will probably not get behind a wheel themselves, they pose a more dangerous threat to themselves – alcohol poisoning, which can be fatal.

Pre-gaming has taken teens by storm.  If we don’t help our teens get a handle on this, we are sure to see more risky behaviors, more cases of alcohol poisoning, and even more deaths. Parents, it’s up to you to take responsibility by making fewer “pre-game” venue options available.  Be home before your teens go out, and don’t allow pre-gaming or partying in your home.  Talk with your teens, letting them know you are aware of “pre-gaming,” and spelling out the potential consequences. 

Pre-gaming is yet another challenge to parents, a potent reminder of the need to teach our teens to make healthy decisions that will not endanger themselves or others. 

By Joan Grayson Cohen, LCSW-C, Manager, Access Services, including Teen Outreach, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Jewish Community Services, an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore, offers a wide range of supportive services and resources for you and your family.  To learn more, call 410-466-9200, or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  Questions about parenting?  Send an e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), and check out the Parenting Tip of the Month at http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.