Our children are constantly inundated with images that provide messages over which we have no control. There is the thin and beautiful person who gets the “right” guy or girl, the allure of images that promote drinking alcohol, the “reality” shows that make people’s homes and relationships public, and, of course, the media that nullify the negative behavior of sports figures and music stars. As parents we worry how these images will affect our children and teens.  Will anything we taught them make a difference? Whose voice will be heard?

Parents, now there is a media tool for you to use to make sure that it’s your voice your child hears. If I Knew Then What I Know Now is a series of four video vignettes of compelling, true personal stories told by families and friends in our community about the impact that risky behavior had on their loved ones and themselves.  The videos can be viewed at http://www.ifIknew.org.

Recently I was visiting my daughter at college and she had her laptop in my hotel room. I simply invited her to view If Iknew.org. She did.  I watched her face as her eyes widened and her mouth opened. Without prompting, she viewed all four of the videos.  I knew it really hit her when she said, “Mom I know those kids.  I can’t believe what was happening in their lives.” She reacted further: “My friends and I knew that ________ had problems, and we just thought she was weird. But if we had known all this, maybe we could have helped her.”

This led to further discussion about the behavior of teens.  My daughter said, “This website is so cool; please tell the people who made it that I am going to share it with my friends.” I certainly didn’t anticipate all of these results from my little suggestion, “Why don’t you view IfIknew.org.” However, it got me thinking that maybe I had more control over the media than I thought. During this winter break my daughter’s friend came over to say hello and she told me she also had seen the videos and how amazing they are. There it was again, the influence that my one statement to my daughter had, and how it spread.

It is time that we take back our influence from the media and empower both ourselves and our children to use the media to give the “right” message. Let’s help our children take control of the subliminal messages and use their conscious thinking to educate themselves and their friends about the messages that will help them, rather than lead them astray.

By guest blogger Joan Grayson Cohen, LCSW-C, Senior Manager of Access Services, including Teen Outreach, at Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Jewish Community Services, an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore, offers a wide range of supportive services and resources for you and your family.  To learn more, call 410-466-9200, or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  Questions about parenting?  Send an e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), and check out the Parenting Tip of the Month at http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.