A summer job is a rite of passage for many teenagers, and spring is the time to search. But is the recession upsetting your teen’s plan of finding a job?  Will your child be competing with this year’s crop of (so far) jobless college graduates desperately seeking work?  Right now, you’re probably worrying that your teen won’t find something productive to do, and will just fritter away the summer months by sleeping late and watching TV.  And if your teen isn’t the “go-getter” type, you may be feeling frustrated and tired of all the nagging to get started looking for work. 

The good news is that most traditional summer jobs still exist.  Camps, ice cream stores, pools, and country clubs still need cheap and temporary help that teens are in the best position to provide. 

While some jobs are out there, the process of finding them may elude the average young person. As a parent, you can help your teen get started by sharing these constructive tips:

• Create a list.  Ask your teen: What do you like/dislike? What are you good at?  Brainstorm places to apply, consider limitations, (such as transportation), and keep this list current with names, dates and follow up notations.
• Do it right.  Most large employers now require an online application, which the computer will “reject” if it’s not completely filled out.  As with any application, answer every question.  If something doesn’t apply, write N/A so that the employer—and computer—knows you didn’t overlook it. 
• Keep it personal.  Why not walk in or make a phone call to allow an employer to make a connection and put a face (or voice) to one of the hundreds of applications received? Apply where you live and shop, to increase that connection. 
• Look smart.  Always look good enough for an impromptu interview.  Being neatly dressed, making good eye contact, smiling, and offering a firm handshake will take you far.
• Follow up. Most applicants don’t, so here is another chance to stand out. Being enthusiastic and articulate are important skills in short supply.

As with any job search, it’s about WHO you know.  Parents, who do YOU know who might need a job done over the summer and might appreciate an ambitious young person to do it? Making that connection can mean the difference between your teen’s landing an interview and being one of a crowd of anonymous applicants. As in “real life,” your opening a door may be just the way your teen is able to get that first (summer) job.  By watching you use your contacts, your child learns a valuable life skill: how to network. 

If a paid job doesn’t pan out, don’t overlook the value of a summer internship or volunteer work.  The experience gleaned can be critical.  Sometimes volunteering can steer a person to discover his or her field of choice.  Pocket money can still be found by doing chores for neighbors and babysitting, the old teen standbys.  In the end, all work experience is valuable, and any job will find its place on the resume, which will be an important job search tool in the future. 

By Jill Moroson, MSW, Employment Specialist, Jewish Community Services Career Services

Questions about parenting?  Send an email to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).  To learn more about how JCS can help you solve life’s puzzles, visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org or call 410-466-9200.  Jewish Community Services is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.

I was a guest at a birthday party for a nine-year-old, when the cake was brought out. There were your usual oohs and aahs, but they were overshadowed by several girls saying they couldn’t eat the cake. It wasn’t because they didn’t like cake—quite the opposite. One girl said, “I like it too much…I’ll get fat… I’ll lose my friends.” Another agreed: “Cake is bad…especially the icing…don’t eat it! You’ll get fat.” 

Parents, listen up! These girls are nine years old! What will they think and sound like in middle school and high school?  The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, in a 2008 survey, found that 80% of girls in grades three to six displayed body image concerns and dissatisfaction with their appearance.  Nor are boys immune from these preoccupations. 

What can we do?  First, we need to teach our kids to expect growth and change as they develop.  They need to understand that each of us grows at her or his own pace, and we grow differently from our classmates and friends.  Everyone goes through awkward stages physically, as well as emotionally and cognitively.  The key is accepting ourselves—all of ourselves.

Our children cannot do this alone.  With media images of size 2 models and photoshopped beauties and hunks with no blemishes coming at them 24/7, they are bombarded with unrealistic ideals. 

Ask yourself: who educates and guides kids through the changes in their preteen and teen years? If you are not talking to your daughter about this, I can assure you she is being influenced by messages from Cosmo Girl, Hannah Montana, Google, and the classmate sitting next to her in school. Parents, it’s time to step up.  Educate your child yourself.  Talk directly to him or her about physical and emotional health.  We need to listen to our children and teach them to appreciate their bodies and themselves. 

To do this effectively, we parents also need to be aware of our own issues and beliefs about food.  What are you saying about food and what are you showing through your food behavior? Children learn through hearing and seeing.  If your child is hearing you say, “I need to diet” or “I hate my thighs,” she will often follow suit.  Recognizing when our children are obsessed with their body image can also be a wake-up call to get parents back on track and teach us to improve our own eating habits and self-image.

Here are some guidelines to get you started.  Teach your child that:
• No food is bad; everything can be enjoyed in moderation.
• Food is the energy of life.
• Our body takes care of us and allows us to run, think, grow and move. When we nurture our body, our body will nurture us.
• Through the meals you serve at home and when you eat out, teach your children to make healthy food choices.  Talk with them about their likes and dislikes, and involve them in your food shopping and cooking.
• Your child is more than a look. Looks change, but who you are and what you do determine who you become.  Be aware of the compliments you give your children on how they look, and be sure to compliment them on their positive attitudes and helpful behavior.

If you have concerns about your child or thoughts to share, please contact us. We are here to help!

By Debra K. Waranch, LCSW-C, Therapy Services, Jewish Community Services

Questions about parenting?  Send an email to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).  To learn more about how JCS can help you solve life’s puzzles, visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org or call 410-466-9200.  Jewish Community Services is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.

Snookie, The Situation, Jenelle, Farrah (no, not Fawcett), Heidi, Spencer, Lauren, Kristin.  Do you know these people? I’ll bet your kids do.

Just to clue you in, they are the “stars” of MTV’s wildly popular “Reality” shows – Jersey Shore, 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, Laguna Beach, and The Hills, to name a few.  And our kids can’t get enough.  Defenders say, “They’re just harmless entertainment, a guilty pleasure.”  But are they harmless? Aren’t these shows making celebrities of teen-age mothers and twenty-somethings who spend their days and nights drinking, fighting, and hooking up?

Should we be afraid that our kids really buy in to this “Reality?” Is this the perception of “cool” that they hope to emulate? Are these our children’s role models?

Given the overwhelming crowds flocking to live appearances by these Reality stars and the ever growing number of on-line fan pages, I am afraid the answer is “yes,” and frankly, it scares me.

In every generation parents have worried about who their children idolized. There may have been debate over rock stars or political figures. What’s troubling is that the pop icons targeting our kids today aren’t being admired for their talents or their beliefs, but instead, for their antics and their risky behaviors.  So much of what enthralls our kids about these young people’s lives is the very stuff that keeps us up at night worrying about our children and praying they won’t make the same kinds of choices.

An important part of our job as parents is to test our children’s perceptions of reality and to offer alternative role models.  How do we do that, and where do we find more positive influences to combat these media creations?
• Us.  We are the number one influence on our children.  They watch us more closely than we know to see if we practice what we preach.
• Mentors.  Sometimes kids need the positive influence of someone outside the family, someone they can relate to, like a close family friend or a Jewish Big Brother or Big Sister from JCS.
• Positive public figures.  These days it may seem as if many of the athletes and politicians we’ve admired for their good deeds and clean living have turned into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but there are still some good people out there in the public eye. And when someone we’ve held up as an example does fall from grace, it is important to use that as an opportunity to talk with our kids about right and wrong and about the qualities that we value in people.
• Teachers.  A good, dedicated teacher, one who you can tell is really in this for the kids, is absolutely someone to be admired.  Trust me, they’re certainly not doing it for the money or the glory.
• Others.  I invite you to fill in the blank.

MTV is planning even more of these reality shows, so we have our work cut out for us to make sure that the “Real World” our children become grounded in reinforces healthier choices than the ones being hyped by the pop media.

By Jacki Post Ashkin, LCSW-C, Senior Manager, Marketing & Development, Jewish Community Services

Questions about parenting?  Send an email to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).  To learn more about how JCS can help you solve life’s puzzles, visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org or call 410-466-9200.  Jewish Community Services is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore