The Obama Administration will decide policy for Afghanistan - to send more troops, or adopt another formula for “victory.”  Iran has, under the American timetable, to the end of the year to make a decision regarding its nuclear program. Israel, meanwhile, to paraphrase New York Times columnist, Tom Friedman, is perceived as wanting “negotiations without a deal, while the Palestinians seek a deal without negotiations.”  Here at home, the Senate will debate health care policy. Unemployment, and the economy as a whole, still await major policy initiatives.  Climate change remains to be addressed.

What do all these issues have in common?  However they are decided, people’s lives will be dramatically affected.  Yet, while the debate may rage over these crucially important matters, voters seem more concerned about vampire movies, the latest video game, and football.

Why is it that in Europe and in so many other places, newspaper readership remains high, people pay attention to the news, and seem to be much more involved in things that matter? What is it about our society that produces such seemingly inattentive behavior?  Is it the fault of the media?  Schools?  Maybe both and more.  But, perhaps the biggest problem is in the home.  How many of us urge our children to read newspapers and/or listen to the nightly “news,” instead of mindless reality shows and constantly “texting” their friends?

So, as we gather together during the holiday season, let’s reflect upon the reality that uninformed children become adults who will not make informed decisions.  Is that what we want for our children’s future?

 
Guest Blogger:  Art Abramson, Executive Director, Baltimore Jewish Council.  This message is excerpted with permission from “Council Matters,” November 30, 2009.

Jewish Community Services, an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore, offers a wide range of supportive services and resources for you and your family.  To learn more, call 410-466-9200, or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  Questions about parenting?  Send an e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), and check out the Parenting Tip of the Month at http://www.jcsbaltimore.org. 

The holiday season can be a stressful and bittersweet time for children with divorced or separated parents.  Children of divorce may experience absolute dread at the thought of the holidays, especially if Mom and Dad are constantly at odds.  Even with the most civil relationship, it is difficult for older children who are not living at home to decide how they want to spend the holidays.  For younger children, rushing from one “celebration” to the next in the name of “fairness” or to comply with a visitation agreement may not be fun or meaningful.

Children will have an easier time adjusting to visitation schedules and holiday schedules if their parents are respectful of one another and are working to adjust to their new roles as ex-spouses and co-parents.  I know this is easier said than done, but holidays are time limited.  To make these occasions meaningful for you and your child, TRY to cooperate and put your child first in this situation.

It’s hard for children to divide time between two families.  On the other hand, they get to have two celebrations and they may develop new and different traditions at each one.  This can be a lot of fun.  I’d like to suggest that Mom and Dad discuss and divide a gift list so there isn’t a competition around who is the more “fun”parent.  Competing for your child’s love and loyalty gives a confusing message to a child. 

The most meaningful gift you can give your child—regardless of the season—is the permission and understanding that it is okay to love both of you.

Happy Holidays!

By Donna Kane, MA, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Jewish Community Services, an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore, offers a wide range of supportive services and resources for you and your family.  To learn more, call 410-466-9200, or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  Questions about parenting?  Send an e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), and check out the Parenting Tip of the Month at http://www.jcsbaltimore.org. 

Okay, I am telling you upfront this is not going to be a very sexy column.  I guess when you do not have to worry about your finances, gift giving can be sexy and dramatic, but I submit that gift giving on a budget can be fun and meaningful.  Now more than in the past, the stress of holidays need not take an emotional and financial toll.

If a big family dinner is more than you can afford for Hanukkah or New Year’s, consider a pot luck dinner or maybe latkes, jelly donuts, games and token gift giving.  Remember Martha Stewart and Oprah have people on staff who get paid really well to make everything look magical.  We have friends and family who are just as busy and stressed as we are.  Ask for help, keep celebrations low key, and they will be remembered with warmth.

How about thinking low tech?  Maybe instead of Xbox games and Nintendo Wii’s, a good old fashioned board game like Scrabble or Monopoly.  This does require your time and energy, but the outcome in both dollars and family time makes it a win/win investment.

Coupons are great gifts that are really appreciated when redeemed. Last year my niece wanted a Disney movie that I knew she would watch once or twice and then forget about.  So I made two coupons, each for a movie date that included a drink and a snack.  It cost about the same as the movie she wanted from Toys R Us and we had a great time.

The least sexy and most important part of this process is to make a gift budget: make a list of people to whom you want to give gifts and work within your means.  I bit my lip yesterday when the cashier at Wegman’s told the shopper in front of me, “Everyone pays their bills late this time of year.”  There is nothing sexy about being stressed out, endangering your credit and worrying about how to pay for necessities.

Have a happy Hanukkah and a happy, healthy New Year.

By Donna Kane, MA, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Jewish Community Services, an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore, offers a wide range of supportive services and resources for you and your family.  To learn more, call 410-466-9200, or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  Questions about parenting?  Send an e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), and check out the Parenting Tip of the Month at http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.