After an often overscheduled school year, both kids and parents look forward to these sunny summer days, which promise a laid back lifestyle with lots of free time. That can be good news, but summer also presents challenges. I consulted JCS Health Educator Susan Kurlander, who offered some tips on this topic.
“For teens, laziness seems like the rainbow they’ve been watching from afar. Their parents have told us that they fear that more free time means more opportunity to use marijuana or other drugs, engage in underage drinking and/or sexual activity.
What can parents do to make the most of summer, yet still keep their pre-adolescents and teens safe?
Have your kids check in. Tell them how important it is to contact you by phone or text message during the day.
Ask neighbors, friends and family to be part of the safety net when you can’t be there.
Enforce rules and consequences. Even though there may be less supervision during the summer, the kids need to know that they are just as accountable for their choices and actions
Set aside a time each week to spend with your kids and let them choose the activity, for example, going out to dinner, playing miniature golf, seeing a movie, or planning a day trip.
Connect your pre-teen or teen to meaningful experiences such as volunteering or community service projects.
If your child has not been able to find a summer job or is working part-time, explore opportunities for him/her to help out in your office or other locations or to undertake some useful projects around the house.
Here’s hoping that you and your children have a sunny summer that is safe as well as fun. Make the most of a time when all of you can catch your breath and enjoy each other’s company before school begins again in the fall.”
Donna Kane, MA, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, Maryland
Jewish Community Services offers a wide range of supportive services and resources for you and your family. To learn more, call 410-466-9200, or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org. Questions about parenting? Send an e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) and check out the Parenting Tip of the Week at http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.
The other night I was driving to Hunt Valley Mall to pick my son up from a late movie. While I was driving on Route 83, my cell phone indicated that I had received a message. Thinking my son may have left me a voicemail about a change of plans, I glanced at the phone. He had sent me a text message. This left me with a variety of choices, none of which really appealed to me. I could read the message while driving 65 miles an hour, I could pull over to the shoulder , or I could continue on my way and ignore the message. I chose to ignore the message for the time being. But I couldn’t help thinking about why my son would send me something to read when he knew I was driving, and I also thought about the fact that he is a new driver himself.
A few days later, I saw an article from the New York Times called “Texting May Be Taking a Toll.” The writer reported that according to the Nielson Company, American teenagers are receiving an average of 80 messages a day. This new means of communication is starting to concern physicians, psychologists, educators, and parents, who observe that texting is causing sleep deprivation, distraction in school, and poor grades. Psychologist Sherry Turkle, who is director of the Initiative on Technology and Self at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, has studied the texting habits of teenagers. She believes texting may be causing a shift in the way adolescents develop. Turkle is concerned that texting affects a teenager’s ability to become autonomous.
I can only speak about what I have seen and heard. Texting is all around me. It has become the preferred way for my son to communicate with me when he is out. But how can a person concentrate on thinking something through if his phone is constantly buzzing and he is constantly checking to see if it buzzed? How can a teenager separate from her parents and learn to become autonomous when she can text every question or decision to Mom and Dad? What is happening to kids’ ability to take the time and solitude to reason and reach decisions on their own?
A lot of children may say that parents have no right to complain about texting since Mom and Dad may be just as dependent on their BlackBerry. Kids may not grasp the difference between a parent checking in at work with their PDA and a child texting his or her friends 80 times a day. I think this topic could make for some lively dinner conversation, leading to healthy limit setting and maybe even a lower phone bill!
Donna Kane, MA, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, Maryland
JCS offers addictions treatment, as well as prevention education for children, teens, parents and professionals. For more information, call 410-466-9200 or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.