Half of the students raised their hands!

Howard Reznick, Manager of Jewish Community Services’ Prevention Education, reports he and JCS Health Educator Susan Kurlander recently had a sobering experience. 

“We were at one of the local Hebrew day schools presenting a prevention education program on drug awareness for 7th graders,” Howard said. “It was my first time back in a classroom in many years. I noticed how attentive all the students were. Our talk was clearly not just academic to them.

I veered off slightly from our usual focus and asked:

‘Please put your heads down and close your eyes so no one can see if you raise your hand.’ 

‘Now, if you are concerned or worried about either of your parents’ use of drugs or alcohol, please raise your hand.’

Half of the students raised their hands.

Their teachers and I were stunned.

Most of the time we approach these school programs with the mind-set that parents, in general, are worried about their children getting involved with drugs. It dawned on us that we must also support these same children with the courage and information to handle the insecurities that arise from the fear of something bad happening to their parents, due to the parents’ use of mind altering chemicals.

As parents, we have the mistaken notion that what my kids don’t see me do doesn’t affect them.  Based on that same notion, some children may hide from their parents things they do that might not be so healthy. It is truly an unhealthy family situation when parents are hiding their actions from the kids and the kids are hiding from the parents.”

Howard Reznick concludes: “As parents we need to be the open, healthy people that we can be, and that our children need us to be. It is our job to be the parents and for the children to be the kids. We must set and communicate healthy boundaries to them, and we must act as role models for healthy living.”

Donna Kane, MA, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, Maryland

JCS offers addictions treatment, as well as prevention education for children, teens, parents and professionals.  For more information, call 410-466-9200 or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.

When you are given lemons, make lemonade, says the old expression.  “That lesson learned long ago has helped me get through the challenges of life, including parenting,” says Karen Nettler, Director of Community Connections at Jewish Community Services.  The meltdown of our economy is a huge challenge we face today.  At the same time, this is an opportunity to teach our children healthy coping skills.  As any parent knows, our children turn to us for cues about how to respond in certain situations.

Difficult to admit, but how often have we sat down with our kids to teach them necessary money lessons?  Are we parents who pride ourselves on giving our children everything they have ever asked for?  Do they carry our credit card for gas and other purchases?  Do we pay their cell phone bills?  If we have been running up the bills on credit cards to buy all those things we “want” and now find ourselves struggling to pay for all those things we need (food, mortgage, tuition, health insurance), what lesson have we taught our kids?  After all, they look to us -like it or not - as role models.  They are more likely to do as we do, and not as we say, because we know very well that our kids have a built-in sensor for the truth.

From a young child’s perspective, using a credit card for each purchase is not much different from using Monopoly money.  Next time you go shopping, tell your child in advance how much money you intend to spend. (There’s that budgeting skill!).  Then bring exactly that amount of cash with you.  You’ll be surprised at how children respond when the real dollars start to disappear in front of their eyes. They start asking, “Do I really need this?  Or, would I rather have that?”  Aha!  Witness the beginning of learning how to prioritize and manage money. 

These skills will not only take children far, but will also help you as a family turn away from focusing on what you don’t have—a basket of lemons—to appreciating what you do have—refreshing lemonade!

By Donna Kane, MA, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Jewish Community Services offers a wide range of supportive services and resources for you and your family. To learn more, call 410-466-9200, or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  Questions about parenting?  Send an e-mail to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) and check out the Parenting Tip of the Week at http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.