POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS ERUPTS AT THE ORGAN AND WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT THOSE DUMB BITCHES?
I am declaring that from now on, political correctness is hereby forever kyboshed on the Organ. No more Mister Nice Guy and wussy writing in these weekly diatribes. After deep thought and with an intense look at myself, I’ve decided to come out and expose the ugly side of my persona. I’m going rogue.
Now this decision didn’t come easy. I came to this catharsis after watching two of my new political soul mates, Newt Gingrich and Ron Smith, expounding on the causes of the Fort Hood Massacre and claiming that political correctness caused the killings. Gingrich rendered his opinion on Fox News’ On the Record with Greta Van Susteren, and Smith took aim and hit the bull’s-eye with his weekly column last Friday in the Baltimore Sun.
The Army wasn’t at fault, according to these wise individuals. The superior officers of the gunman weren’t negligent or incompetent for failing to recognize this maniac. They were simply hamstrung from doing their jobs properly because of political correctness.
I always thought that guns didn’t kill people, people killed people and because of that truism gun control was frivolous and unnecessary. Now I’ve learned that political incorrectness actually kills people, and I for one will not have that on my conscience. From now on, I’m gonna tell it like it is.
Right this very moment three dumb bitches are taking up much too much time and are getting way too much attention and it really pisses me off. You may think these women are smart and have something good going for them, but I say otherwise and I will prove it to you right here and right now.
First, locally we can point the finger at Mayor Sheila Dixon. In office for a very short time as mayor of Charm City, she has managed to take up and dominate the front page headlines and consume all the attention of the media outlets in town. How selfish is that? Besides, she isn’t even thankful for all this notoriety she’s been getting. She’s surly and mean to all those attention seekers in the media. She shows no gratitude, and I am fed up with all this triviality about the charges against her.
After all, all she did was rip off a few dimes to make herself look hot and sexy to her boyfriends. This is no crime where I come from, and Sheila shouldn’t take the rap for this. I say she should come clean and admit that she got paid with these gift cards for sex. A romp between the sheets in exchange for an X-Box or some Toys ‘R Us bling—when did that become a felony?
She can cop to a simple prostitution count and by admitting this minor crime and socially acceptable practice she can avoid political corruption charges and keep her gig. Her problems evaporate. Better still, as a bonus she can avoid the toll for those high-priced mouthpieces she’s employing. See, I told you she wasn’t so smart.
The next loser on my hit list is another pol with local connections. Speaker of the House of Representatives and third in line of succession to the presidency, Baltimore-born and bred Nancy Pelosi has managed to actually get the Health Care Reform Bill or whatever it is called through the House. The bill has me, and more importantly, my Republican brethren really ticked off. How can she manage to pass this socialistic piece of trash, and at the same time integrate the destruction of the tenets of Roe v. Wade? As a committed right-to-lifer, I want to stop all abortions, and this bill interferes with the purity of my motives. No deals when it comes to my agenda.
The Stupak Amendment bans payment of abortions from being funded by the so-called public option. This is sacrilegious to my fundamentalist friends. This amendment should be the only piece of the legislation worth keeping. The rest of this bill is too costly, helps only the poor folks who can’t get insurance, and will take us down the path of socialism. This legislation will most definitely ruin the moral fiber of this great country. If she was smarter, she’d drop this whole bill. Trash it, and we can go on fighting Roe v. Wade with our heads and hearts held high.
It’s better to be right and pure than get messed up with all those compromisers. She can’t be trusted only to follow the Democratic Party’s principles any more, and if you can’t get partisan over her politics then what’s the point of trashing her? She’s all over the place. I say she’s toast. Steny Hoyer should get her job.
Finally, my numero uno dumb bitch is Sarah Palin, who has come out with her biography. How dumb was that? She’s got presidential ambitions and is overloaded with presidential timber. Why is she going on Oprah and exposing her life and family like trailer park trash? She’s too good for that. She was right to go after Katie Couric. Screw the left-wing media. They’re just out to get her, and that trick question about what she likes to read was unfair. She’s way too busy being Governor of Alaska to read anything. Now that she resigned, she has even less time to read. She’s doing important work spreading the cult of her personality. Evita would be jealous of her powers.
As far as her gripes with the McCain camp, she got the royal hose job from them. They’re the true ingrates, not her. She brought out the masses during the campaign and made Joe the Plummer a household name. McCain was no war hero to her. Hell, she was barely alive growing up in Alaska when he lived at the Hanoi Hilton. If she was running for president and McCain was second on her ticket, they would be serving Alaskan king crab in the White House today.
This woman has star power and wasting it on interviews with Oprah and the likes of her comrades is dumb. She’s perfect as is. Her book is a national bestseller. Need I say more? I say she shouldn’t equivocate about her intentions, and that a run for occupying the Oval Office is a mortal lock. She’s got the right wing eating out of the palm of her hand. Talking to the other side is stupid and she’s too smart for that. She can win without their approbation. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.
All three women possess political resumes that have gone South because of their ineptness and idiocy. Aren’t you glad I have made you aware of their failings and their lack of smarts? Stay tuned for more shout-outs in the future.