All Seven Dwarfs should Be Like Rice

  A carefree driver busy texting slams into the back of a car stopped at a light. A dwarf-like man steps out of the damaged car, examines the extensive damage to his bumper and says, “I’m not happy.’’
  And the instigator replies, “Then you must be “Sleepy’ or ‘Sneezy.’”
  Now, the Ravens’ Ray Rice is not a dwarf, but he is a midget by NFL standards.  Wikipedia lists him at 5-8, while the Ravens’ guide adds an extra inch to a compact 195-pound frame.  If you believe Rice is 5-9, than I’m Wilt Chamberlain.
  It’s mindful of how Baltimore Bullets’ Hall of Fame center Wes Unseld was forever listed in the NBA Guide as being 6-8, the same height from his All-American days at Louisville.  But, as Unseld would later reveal, he was barely 6-5 (minus his Afro), about the same size as Bullets’ power forward Gus Johnson.
  His true height made him eligible for a two-year service hitch, which was not what the Bullets had in mind when they made him the No. 1 draft pick in 1968. So Unseld hastily enrolled in the Kentucky National Guard and reported to training camp on time
  In any case, Rice, the most productive back in the NFL, is certainly a “Mighty Midget.’’ The former Rutgers’ star, who was a surprising second round draft choice by the Ravens in 2008, again showed his eye-popping versatility Sunday when the pent-up Ravens, in a ‘must-win’’ situation, buried the previously unbeaten Denver Broncos, 30-7.
  The statistics were fairly modest by Rice’s high standards. He rushed 24 times for 84 yards and Baltimore’s final TD on a seven-yard bolt up the middle.  He also caught 5 passes for 24 yards, with his 10-yard reception on an improvised flip from Joe Flacco, who was in the grips of a Bronco defender, leading to a Steve Hauschka field goal and a 6-0 halftime lead. It just seems that Rice, who has replaced Willie McGahee as the Ravens’ starting halfback, always produces a big play when it’s most needed.
  Teaming with Unflaccable Joe, Rice and Flacco form one of the most potent offensive duos in the league, perhaps not quite the equal yet of Minnesota’s Brett Favre and Adrian Peterson, but steadily closing the gap.
  Flacco’s game stats were also deceiving.  He completed 20-of-25 passes for as modest 175 yards, hardly in the heady atmosphere of a Peyton Manning,  Tom Brady or Drew Brees. But he was a perfect 14-for-14 in the second half and spread the ball around to six different receivers. His 20-yard bullet under intense pressure to Derrick Mason in the end zone early in the fourth quarter made it 24-7 and took all the starch out of the Broncos, who entered the game boasting the league’s stingiest defense.
  On offense, you could also be encouraged by the constant improvement of wideout Kelley Washington,  the free spirit who was Flacco’s biggest downfield threat with four catches for 58 yards.
And the Ravens’ special teams played a big role,  providing 15 points thanks to pint-sized Lardarius Webb’s spectacular 95-yard kickoff return to start the second half and three successful field goals (43, 35, 31) by Steve Hauschka, who had been villlified two weeks ago for missing his 43-yard attempt at a game-winner in the Minnesota dome.
  Of course, we’ve been avoiding the obvious.  This was a game dictated by a revitalized, prideful defense that had been burned the last three games by New England, Cincinnati and Minnesota.  They limited the Broncos’ offense to 200 total yards, including nearly 50 meaningless yards in garbage time. This marked Denver’s lowest offensive output since 2003.
  Once he fell behind, 23-7, Kyle Orton’s patented short-pass offense proved ineffectual.  Perhaps the most relevant statistic was his managing to make good on only 3 of 13 third down conversions while Flacco was a solid 11-18. And the Ravens’ who had been trampled in the past two weeks b the hard running of the Bengals’ Cedric Benson         and the Vikings’ Peterson, limited the Broncos’ top threat, Knowlshon Moreno, to 39 yards on 10 carries. His second-quarter fumble led to Hauschka’s second field goal..
  The Ravens’ pass rush that had been painfully absent in the team’s three straight losses was resurrected. Linebacker Jarrett Johnson, who might be the most unsung defender in the NFL, sent a clear message when he sacked Orton for an eight-yard loss on Denver’s first offensive play.
  Orton quickly realized he had to get rid of the ball in a hurry. Both Johnson and fellow linebacker Tyrell Suggs mishandled interception attempts, and, amazingly, the ever-present Ed Reed, saw his attempt for a blocked punt somehow sail right through his outstretched hands. But the persistent pressure on Orton clearly eased the burden on the unproven secondary.
  As Ravens’ coach John Harbaugh noted, “We had a chance to win our previous three games, but we didn’t finish the job.  Today, we played better, coached better and finished better.’’
  The job only gets tougher next week when the Ravens travel to Cincinnati.  Although they are surprising three-point favorites, controlling Carson Palmer, who carved up Baltimore in their first meeting with his long passes, will prove a lot tougher than Orton.
  In the meantime, mercurial Ray Rice, be he midget or dwarf, is definitely “”Happy.’’ Can you blame him?