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CANDLELIGHTING

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THE JEWISH VIEW

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HOLIDAYS

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JUDAISM 101

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{weblog_name} - A Chilling PSA on Texting and Driving is a Must See for Every Driver -Especially parents of teens
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This video could be such an important tool.  It does more than talk numbers, it shows repercussions. Yesterday I was asked to write an article in response to the PSA after it was discussed on the Today Show.  Today my article was the “Top Story” at iVillage.com. After writing the piece my head began to spin.  The horrific images, seared in my brain, highlighted the scary statistics I reported.  If texting and driving equates to drinking and driving, how many “(texting) drunks” are on the road at any given time?  If you knew that so many people were driving “drunk” would you want to be on the road?  What’s worse is that texting and driving is not illegal the way that drinking and driving is.  Sure, it’s frowned upon, but so many people do it anyway. Even if you… read more

{weblog_name} - Goodbye Disney, Hello Backyard!
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In response to a canceled vacation I was forced to write a scathing letter to Mickey… Mouse that is. Dear Mickey: Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think we need to take a break. Sure, I love the way you and your friends with oversized heads eat breakfast with my family and entertain us with your theme parks, but you ask for so much in return. I pay a near fortune to see you, then you woo my daughter into expensive princess attire and offer pricey oversized turkey legs, costly Pooh shaped popsicles, and expensive embroidered hats with ears… that don’t really translate in the real world. I’m sorry, that sounded like I was blaming you for the economy. I’m sure you and Minnie have a ton of Disney stock options, so I know you’re feelin’… read more

{weblog_name} - Mothering By The Seat Of My Pants
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Figuring out that your parents knew as little about raising children as you do is a mind altering experience. I spend much of my time in disbelief that I am the mom of two amazing kids, because I often feel like a kid myself. How did this happen? When did this happen? Just yesterday I was getting my license, graduating college, moving to my first apartment… and somehow I am an adult with a home and children. Children that come to me in the middle of the night with growing pains, and nightmares looking to be comforted. I’m mothering by the seat of my pants. I creatively make up feel better songs or merely relay the advice my mother gave me as a young child. How is it that I am winging it and my mother seemed to know… read more

{weblog_name} - Adult Swim -I’m the crazy lady that shooshes at other peoples children
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I had a night away this weekend, a night away.  It has been 6 months, almost to the day, since the last time I had a night away.  Yes, I am on the half year excursion plan.  Twice a year I take the long ride from Weston to Fort Lauderdale, or South Beach, or Naples and spend a single night with as much day wrapped around both sides as my parents or in-laws will allow.  We couldn’t go far, and because I was looking for optimum veg time, proximity was second only to my first criteria - NO KIDS. Yes, I said it … NO KIDS.  I had to find a close hotel that was kid free during spring break, when every cold frostbitten family packs up their 2.5 children, takes their pets to the kennel, and comes to… read more

{weblog_name} - Is it just me or does money seem tight these days?
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I don’t know about you guys, but I have watched my investments plummet.  it’s probably just me.  I must have made bad choices.  Reeling from the tech fallout of 2002, I cautiously invested in low risk things like bonds, and solid proven companies like GE and CitiBank.  What was I thinking? Oddly, I also assumed that my husband would receive his weekly commission based paychecks well, weekly.  I appear to have been wrong on both counts. The constant chatter I hear on line at the supermarket, where people are pulling coupons out of their Chanel bags to save a buck on T.P. (one ply), makes me think, “maybe I‘m not alone.” I want to know when I started to sound desperate and entitled?  Was it when I complained that I have to make my own coffee? Or when in… read more

{weblog_name} - Want pancakes?  Have a mammogram.  A funny and friendly reminder!
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I had a mammogram this week.  I have to get one every year; though mine are small there is still room for fibroids.  My tech went so far as to comment on them, saying they’re “perfectly perky.”  Well, she said that after laughing aloud at the thought of getting my A’s to stay up on the shelf of the machine.  After getting a good chuckle she stuck on a set of stunning nipple markers, which are stickers with silver balls that resemble starter earrings. Tech:  “Sorry we’re all out of fringe.” Me:  “Don’t worry, I have some at home.” I guess she was right to laugh.  The first time on the shelf they slipped right out.  The intense squeezing actually slung-shot them back towards my body.  The second time she got a couple ribs on board.  I’m guessing as… read more

{weblog_name} - Starbucks is like it’s own country, and I am applying for citizenship.
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When you walk into a Starbucks it’s a little like entering another country.  Some of the language is “Italianish” and the rest is completely made up, yet universal to all citizens.  When you visit Starbucks for the first time you might be overwhelmed by the cultural gap and the language barrier.  You see, Starbucks drinkers have an acute understanding of this made up ordering system, the terminology, how to conjugate the verbs, and the proper phrasing of the request i.e. size first, then special requirements, then drink type. The employees, or should I call them caffeine scientists, are trained to do far more than make a cappuccino.  My barista knows the make, model, and color of my car and when he sees it drive up, he starts my drink.  He deduces that if I’m wearing golf or workout clothes… read more

{weblog_name} - The Water Retention Is Diluting My Sanity
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How to retain fluids and bloat up, FAST cont… WEEK 6 My fingers are so fat, I had to dictate this. I also had to order one of those large number phones for the visually impaired, a clapper, and a medic alert necklace in case I fall and can’t… I’m scared. The fluid retention may have water logged my brain and I fear I have officially lost it. I am babbling to myself and cannot walk across the house without a nap. I tried to cut down on salt and substitute it with garlic as was recommended by VirtualDoctor.com to even blood pressure. I ate 2 whole cloves last night. WEEK 6 -day 2 I brushed my teeth and tongue 27 times. My tooth brush is too short. The garlic is rising from my intestines and oozing from my… read more

{weblog_name} - Useless Tip:  How to retain water and bloat up, FAST!
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Last month I had a scary episode.  I was driving and out of nowhere I felt like I was about to lose consciousness.  I was luckily in a parking lot.  First, I debated if I should just put the car in park out of fear that I would pass out and glide into something.  Then, I spotted an open space, sideswiped a pedestrian that then gave me the bird, and quickly parked.  My mind was racing, “Something is wrong, people don’t just pass out.”  I called my husband unlocked my doors, so he could get to me, and searched for something to eat.  I shoved a lollipop in my mouth… nothing.  I was hanging on by a thread, when I saw my daughter’s morning sippy cup of milk.  I sucked out the milk as fast as I could and… read more

{weblog_name} - Why Do People Insist On Forwarding Those Annoying Chain Emails?
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I am not a fan of the chain letter. I know you’re thinking why not? Everyone loves a good threat. Well, I erase them right away because as ridiculous as it sounds, there is a part of me that feels that once I’ve read one of those things, the clock has started. How the universe is somehow connected to my AOL account, is a mystery. My password is pretty easy, maybe that’s the problem. Some chain letters go so far as to mention G-d. The idea that The Almighty is busy checking my inbox and confirming that I have forwarded the mail to the specified amount of people, in the allotted amount of time, seems like a stretch. Yet, that irrational side is like, “What if?” “What if G-d wants me to pass on this sentimental poem about growing… read more

{weblog_name} - 10 Resolutions I Can Actually Keep
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This time of year I amuse myself by looking back at last year’s resolutions. Ones I made with the best intentions, like learning an instrument or a foreign language. Last Chanukah I had my husband buy me a guitar. I had all the confidence in the world that by this new year, I would balk at a request to play Stairway To Heaven, saying something dismissive like… “Please, that’s so cliché, but why not?” or “Por favor, es muy cliché, pero porque no? Unfortunately, my guitar collects dust while my Spanish collects rust. So for this year, I have made some resolutions that are a bit more achievable: 1. Nag More For 10 years my husband has not picked up a wet towel, washed ketchup off of a dish, changed a light bulb, or remembered trash day without a… read more