Is November a hard time of year for you, as it is for me? With the changeover to Daylight Savings Time, it’s already getting dark when most of us leave work. There’s no time for walking outdoors to unwind before dinner, and the long, cold evenings loom. Even mornings are more of a rush when you have to scrape frost off the car windows. The brilliant fall colors are almost gone, rainy days are more dreary, and nature is settling in for winter.
Is this why I feel more tired and have less energy, and why it seems harder to keep my spirits up at this time of year? Some folks welcome these shorter days, curling up at home to watch movies or read novels while sipping hot cocoa, and going to bed earlier. But I’m more in tune with people who are very connected to light and nature, who like to be outside and active. For many of us, these fundamental physical needs are connected to our emotional and psychological well-being.
If you dread setting the clocks back in the fall, you’re not alone. It is normal to feel “blue” at times. But if you feel depressed for days, lose energy or interest in activities or people you normally enjoy, or just feel like hibernating, you may be one of the estimated 6% of Americans who have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
SAD is a type of depression that is a cyclic condition, with symptoms usually arriving during late fall or early winter and going away in spring, according to experts at the Mayo Clinic. (Some people experience an opposite form of SAD, becoming depressed in the spring.) Other signs of SAD may include feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, appetite or sleep changes, and difficulty concentrating. In both types of SAD, symptoms may begin mild and worsen as the season progresses, affecting one’s daily life, and sometimes even leading to complications such as substance abuse or suicidal thoughts or behavior.
Although the actual causes of SAD are not known, it is likely that genetics, age and the body’s natural chemical make-up are involved, says Gabrielle J. Melin, M.D., of the Mayo Clinic. Disruptions in one’s biological clock and melatonin and serotonin levels, which affect sleep patterns and mood, may contribute to SAD. People who live far from the equator are more likely to develop SAD. There is no known way to prevent it.
“If you have SAD symptoms, you should see your doctor or a mental health professional,” says Dr. Brett Greenberger, Board Certified Psychiatrist, who directs the JCS Mental Health Clinic. “Starting with a medical work-up is important because depression symptoms could be related to a medical condition, such as thyroid function,” adds Karen James, LCSW-C, Manager of JCS Therapy Services. The good news is that SAD can be treated, and the earlier it is diagnosed, the more likely that the symptoms can be managed. Treatment can include psychotherapy, medications, and light therapy (phototherapy), for which your health care professional can provide safe guidelines.
If you’re pretty sure you don’t have SAD, but you still dread this time of year, there are some things you can do. Be patient, giving your biological clock time to adjust to shorter daylight hours. Let light into your home, take a walk or sit outside when the sun is shining, and exercise regularly to manage stress. If something is weighing on your mind, you can come in to Jewish Community Services to talk to a counselor.
As for me, every year I look forward to December 21. Even though winter is just beginning, that’s the shortest day of the year, so the days will gradually get longer. As soon as I start looking forward to spring, my spirits lift. Until then, Happy Thanksgiving!
By Gail Lipsitz, Coordinator, Public Relations, Jewish Community Services.
Share your comments, experiences, and insights with readers on this new blog.
Jewish Community Services helps you solve life’s puzzles, offering you guidance and support when you are looking for solutions. For more information, call 410-466-9200 or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org. JCS is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/10/09 at 02:03 PM | Comments (0)Hi-Tech vs. Hi-Touch
Isn’t the idea of technology meant to make our lives easier and less complicated? Is it just me or does it seem like the more techno-advanced we become, the more stressful life gets? Don’t get me wrong. I’m plugged in, too. If I leave home without my cell phone, I admit to feeling a bit panicky (though, thus far I have resisted the lure of the Blackberry). And a day without logging on to the computer is like…well, you know the cliché. But sometimes, when I stop and look around, it seems that all these opportunities to be connected are actually leaving us more dis-connected.
I can still remember when going away on vacation meant escaping from everyday life. You’d say good-bye to friends and family and tell them you’ll check in when you get back, and look forward to a break from the usual routine. Sure, you left a number where you could be reached in case of emergency, but no one would dare call you unless the fire department was trying to rescue your cat while flames consumed your house. And work would just have to get along without you for a week. But now that we carry cell phones everywhere we go, friends call or text anytime just to say “hi” and see what you’re doing. Your mother calls to ask if you’re having nice weather and to tell you the light bulb in her closet burned out so you’ll need to come by to change it when you get home. And so many of us feel compelled to check in with the office or check our emails while we are away, “just in case.” Vacation used to be a time to break away from all the distractions and all the stressors, a time to relax, unwind, and reconnect with our family. But it seems these days, though the scenery may change, we just take all that baggage with us.
Could it be we’re cheating ourselves just a little? And aren’t we cheating the people we love? Vacations are meant to be a time to concentrate on each other and share new experiences. But these days it seems we invite the rest of the world along to share this time, too.
Technology is also affecting the art of being a friend. Sure, email, cell phones, Facebook and Twitter have made it possible to connect and re-connect with friends, old and new, near and far, in ways we never imagined. It is wonderful and amazing. But there are times when it seems the personal element and intimacy of friendship have given way to convenience. When you are celebrating a special occasion or achievement, when you’re not feeling well or need some cheering up, or you just need to be reminded that someone cares, a text just doesn’t cut it. How much love can actually be conveyed through a keypad? There is just something warm and genuine and reassuring and, quite simply, personal about having a real live conversation.
Relationships need personal attention. Technology has created endless opportunities for us to keep in touch, but let’s be careful that we don’t find ourselves forgetting the importance of the human touch.
By Jacki Post Ashkin, LCSW-C, Senior Manager, Marketing and Development, JCS
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 10/27/09 at 02:43 PM | Comments (1)Bullying: Not Just for Children
What happens to us after we die? I recently saw a film that explores this question. In “Defending Your Life,” Albert Brooks portrays a way station after death where individuals must stand trial and be accountable for their failings on earth before they can progress to a better place. According to this film, the most serious human shortcoming is the failure to conquer your fears – a point which is illustrated through flashbacks to the central character’s life. One scene shows him as a boy who is unable to stand up to a bully on the playground – a painful scene he is forced to relive during his trial.
We can ask: why is the victim punished here, instead of the perpetrator? Children who have been bullied suffer not only from physical bruises, but also from damage to their self-esteem; many live with anxiety, fear, and lifelong scars.
More and more, parents, schools and mental health professionals are working together to raise awareness about the devastating effects of bullying. The “Baltimore Jewish Times” has featured the topic in several articles. Jewish Community Services here in Baltimore offers Prevention Education workshops on bullying for children, teens and adults in schools, synagogues, and other venues. Developed in collaboration with CHANA: A Jewish Response to Domestic Violence, these programs teach participants how to respond effectively when bullying occurs, whether one is a victim, onlooker, or concerned adult.
True, bullying among children has been getting a lot of attention. But bullying is not restricted to kids. We see plenty of adult bullying behavior around us. Have you experienced “road rage” or been tailed or forced out of your lane by an aggressive, speeding driver? Do you have a co-worker who uses intimidation and thinly veiled threats to cow fellow employees? Fear of jeopardizing their job leads some people to accede to unreasonable demands, but this is not as it should be. And what about bullying by a spouse? JCS Health Educator Colleen Brady Lippens says that this behavior is especially damaging because it is “often unseen and hidden. Spousal bullying is nothing short of emotional and psychological abuse.”
Education about the negative consequences of bullying needs to start in childhood and be reinforced during adolescence, to empower parents, children, school staff, and neighbors to prevent bullying and respond effectively when it occurs. Then we have hope of achieving a society founded on consideration and respect for each individual.
By Gail Lipsitz, Coordinator, Public Relations, Jewish Community Services.
Share your comments, experiences, and insights with readers on this new blog.
Jewish Community Services helps you solve life’s puzzles, offering you guidance and support when you are looking for solutions. For more information, call 410-466-9200 or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org. JCS is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 10/13/09 at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)“Simplicity”: Getting Back to Essentials on Sukkot
Is there a silver lining in the cloud of recession that has been hanging over us this year? I think possibly there is one, and it can be connected to this High Holiday season.
After the solemnity of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, this week marks the beginning of Sukkot (my favorite Jewish holiday), also known as “Z’man simchatenu,” “the time of our rejoicing.” I love the opportunities Sukkot brings to build something and beautify it with our own hands, to be more aware of nature and savor its bounty, and to welcome guests - including our ancestors, through the custom of “ushpizin.” (Maybe this year we will even welcome back an occasional bee.) As the succah stands open to visitors, the meaning of this holiday is accessible to all.
Two messages of Sukkot are especially relevant today. First, when we “dwell” in the temporary huts we have erected, at the mercy of the elements, we are reminded of life’s fragility and transience. In the past year, so many of us have been affected by the economic crisis. We have become acutely aware that our circumstances can suddenly change for the worse. Even the best of planners have found their investments and retirement funds shrinking.
Here at Jewish Community Services, every day we are seeing people who have lost their jobs, from management positions all across the employment spectrum. Our Career Services staff is serving a record number of people. Each day this summer, at least two new families turned to JCS in significant economic distress. Some had been just making it, but now can’t afford to pay their rent or their mortgage, or must choose between feeding their families and buying medicines. The Jewish Community Food Fund of JCS is straining to keep pace with the needs. The losses people have suffered also come with enormous emotional and psychological consequences – from stress, anxiety and depression, to tensions within families. Our JCS mental health professionals are helping individuals and families deal with the realities and challenges, plan for the future, and recover hope.
Changing fortunes can also present unexpected opportunities. And here is where another message of Sukkot resonates for us today. On this holiday we pare life down to the essentials, or, as Henry David Thoreau advised in “Walden,” “Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!” Thoreau’s experiment in the woods of Massachusetts taught him that simplifying life can lead one to “elevation of purpose.” When we are sitting side by side in a succah, sharing a good meal with family and friends, looking up through branches at the stars, we may ask ourselves, “What do we really need?”
Maybe you couldn’t afford a vacation this summer, and maybe you can’t take your family out to dinner right now. Perhaps your children have also had to let go of some of their dreams. But these sacrifices can also open the door to some positive changes. Sukkot offers a perfect opportunity to spend time with your family, to invite friends and neighbors over, to be a guest, and to appreciate the blessings of the present moment. Perhaps we can bring these priorities with us when we re-enter our homes. Chag Sameach!
By Gail Lipsitz, Coordinator, Public Relations, Jewish Community Services.
Share your comments, experiences, and insights with readers on this new blog. Jewish Community Services helps you solve life’s puzzles, offering you guidance and support when you are looking for solutions. For more information, call 410-466-9200 or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org. JCS is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 09/29/09 at 12:37 PM | Comments (0)Healing Family Relationships
“You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family,” goes the old saying. As the New Year begins, many of us are acutely aware that our family relationships are not all we wish they could be. Maybe you’re disappointed because someone has failed to call or send a card. Maybe you’re angry because you weren’t invited to a simcha. Perhaps old rivalries have surfaced with siblings as your aging parents’ needs have changed. So now you’re shouting at each other, or worse, not talking at all. And it hurts.
How do we get into these stalemates? We have expectations that others fail to meet. We feel wrongly accused, or we need to blame someone. “He blew it out of proportion.” “She should have known how I felt.”
One thing is certain (and we know this in the pits of our stomachs, as mental health professionals will attest): fractured relationships are bad for our emotional and physical health. Conflict is inherent in family relationships, but when we stew and hold grudges instead of talking to each other, our feelings get worse over time, creating stress. Avoiding another person and holding on to hurt feelings is hard work because it means stifling our natural human needs for comfort, support, and connections to family.
What can we do to heal the breaches within our families? During this holiday season, we are reminded over and over again that life is short and fragile, and we are urged to devote this time to introspection and mending fences. Perhaps we have mistaken oversights for intentional insults, or looked at the proverbial glass as half empty instead of finding the positives in a relationship. Can we learn how to say, and hear, “I’m sorry”? Can we let go of the need to prove we were right and try to salvage the relationship? Certainly, if we are stuck, we can turn to someone we trust – another family member, a friend, a rabbi, a therapist.
Turning and returning – that’s what the High Holidays are about. May this new year bring you and yours peace and hope.
By Gail Lipsitz, Coordinator, Public Relations, Jewish Community Services.
Share your comments, experiences, and insights with readers on this new blog.
Jewish Community Services helps you solve life’s puzzles, offering you guidance and support when you are looking for solutions. For more information, call 410-466-9200 or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org. JCS is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 09/15/09 at 10:08 AM | Comments (0)
Subscribe to this blog