Is there a silver lining in the cloud of recession that has been hanging over us this year?  I think possibly there is one, and it can be connected to this High Holiday season. 

After the solemnity of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, this week marks the beginning of Sukkot (my favorite Jewish holiday), also known as “Z’man simchatenu,” “the time of our rejoicing.”  I love the opportunities Sukkot brings to build something and beautify it with our own hands, to be more aware of nature and savor its bounty, and to welcome guests - including our ancestors, through the custom of “ushpizin.”  (Maybe this year we will even welcome back an occasional bee.)  As the succah stands open to visitors, the meaning of this holiday is accessible to all.

Two messages of Sukkot are especially relevant today.  First, when we “dwell” in the temporary huts we have erected, at the mercy of the elements, we are reminded of life’s fragility and transience.  In the past year, so many of us have been affected by the economic crisis.  We have become acutely aware that our circumstances can suddenly change for the worse.  Even the best of planners have found their investments and retirement funds shrinking. 

Here at Jewish Community Services, every day we are seeing people who have lost their jobs, from management positions all across the employment spectrum.  Our Career Services staff is serving a record number of people.  Each day this summer, at least two new families turned to JCS in significant economic distress.  Some had been just making it, but now can’t afford to pay their rent or their mortgage, or must choose between feeding their families and buying medicines.  The Jewish Community Food Fund of JCS is straining to keep pace with the needs.  The losses people have suffered also come with enormous emotional and psychological consequences – from stress, anxiety and depression, to tensions within families.  Our JCS mental health professionals are helping individuals and families deal with the realities and challenges, plan for the future, and recover hope. 

Changing fortunes can also present unexpected opportunities.  And here is where another message of Sukkot resonates for us today.  On this holiday we pare life down to the essentials, or, as Henry David Thoreau advised in “Walden,” “Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!”  Thoreau’s experiment in the woods of Massachusetts taught him that simplifying life can lead one to “elevation of purpose.”  When we are sitting side by side in a succah, sharing a good meal with family and friends, looking up through branches at the stars, we may ask ourselves, “What do we really need?”

Maybe you couldn’t afford a vacation this summer, and maybe you can’t take your family out to dinner right now.  Perhaps your children have also had to let go of some of their dreams.  But these sacrifices can also open the door to some positive changes.  Sukkot offers a perfect opportunity to spend time with your family, to invite friends and neighbors over, to be a guest, and to appreciate the blessings of the present moment.  Perhaps we can bring these priorities with us when we re-enter our homes.  Chag Sameach!

By Gail Lipsitz, Coordinator, Public Relations, Jewish Community Services.

Share your comments, experiences, and insights with readers on this new blog.  Jewish Community Services helps you solve life’s puzzles, offering you guidance and support when you are looking for solutions.  For more information, call 410-466-9200 or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  JCS is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.

“You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family,” goes the old saying.  As the New Year begins, many of us are acutely aware that our family relationships are not all we wish they could be.  Maybe you’re disappointed because someone has failed to call or send a card.  Maybe you’re angry because you weren’t invited to a simcha.  Perhaps old rivalries have surfaced with siblings as your aging parents’ needs have changed.  So now you’re shouting at each other, or worse, not talking at all.  And it hurts. 

How do we get into these stalemates?  We have expectations that others fail to meet.  We feel wrongly accused, or we need to blame someone.  “He blew it out of proportion.”  “She should have known how I felt.” 

One thing is certain (and we know this in the pits of our stomachs, as mental health professionals will attest): fractured relationships are bad for our emotional and physical health.  Conflict is inherent in family relationships, but when we stew and hold grudges instead of talking to each other, our feelings get worse over time, creating stress.  Avoiding another person and holding on to hurt feelings is hard work because it means stifling our natural human needs for comfort, support, and connections to family.

What can we do to heal the breaches within our families?  During this holiday season, we are reminded over and over again that life is short and fragile, and we are urged to devote this time to introspection and mending fences.  Perhaps we have mistaken oversights for intentional insults, or looked at the proverbial glass as half empty instead of finding the positives in a relationship.  Can we learn how to say, and hear, “I’m sorry”?  Can we let go of the need to prove we were right and try to salvage the relationship?  Certainly, if we are stuck, we can turn to someone we trust – another family member, a friend, a rabbi, a therapist. 

Turning and returning – that’s what the High Holidays are about.  May this new year bring you and yours peace and hope.

By Gail Lipsitz, Coordinator, Public Relations, Jewish Community Services.

Share your comments, experiences, and insights with readers on this new blog. 

Jewish Community Services helps you solve life’s puzzles, offering you guidance and support when you are looking for solutions.  For more information, call 410-466-9200 or visit http://www.jcsbaltimore.org.  JCS is an agency of THE ASSOCIATED: Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.