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Fishwives’ Folly
Cover the mirrors, rip your clothes and break out those uncomfortable folding chairs. If you were anywhere near a television last week, then you know it’s shiva-sitting time for American journalism.
What ideological train wreck brought you to this house of mourning? A show on ABC called “The View.”
This program, hosted and produced by former network news anchor Barbara Walters, masquerades as a lively forum where intelligent women discuss the important issues of the day.
In reality it’s a debating society for Walters and a gaggle of gentile yentas.
“The View” was brought to new lows in the last year when the purported actress and comedian Rosie O’Donnell joined the cast. Looking for a wise woman, the producers settled instead for the Buddha’s body double.
Rosie’s voice, which has the same melodic texture as the brass section of a high school orchestra, has been chronically raised in one fight after another, probably in a bogus attempt to improve the program’s ratings.
That was a good bet since O’Donnell’s presence has dramatically raised the show’s popularity. Apparently moron claptrap is entertaining.
Perhaps this success emboldened Rosie to crank up the decibels on her calamitous political views. Reaching beyond criticism of the Bush administration, she began to voice kooky conspiracy theories on 9/11, and then seemed to state that American soldiers are the real terrorists in the Middle East.
Highly offensive opinions are a natural byproduct of free speech, of course, but only in the same way that wholesome nutrition begets excrement.
In any event, O’Donnell’s latest tirades brought her into conflict with her luscious but vapid co-host, Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Hasselbeck is an interesting case all her own. Dead between the ears, she was nevertheless deemed an expert on world political affairs worthy of a national spotlight due only to her status as the wife of an NFL quarterback. While heralding a nadir in commentary, she represents a huge step up in the world of football spouses usually dominated by perfume counter professionals and danseurs les pole.
When I saw Rosie and Hasselbeck grappling on TV, I thought I had stumbled upon the Cartoon Channel. The spectacle looked like Bluto jujitsuing Barbie.
The rant ended with Rosie leaving the show for good, and one of her sycophants defacing a portrait of Hasselbeck with a hand-drawn “mustache.” No one drew a mustache on Rosie, however, since it was widely assumed she could grow her own.
This is all hilarious in a Jerry Springer sort of way, until you stop to realize that a lot of Americans actually get their news from these “shows.”
Newspapers are losing money and cutting staff, while blogs are multiplying. Jay Leno and David Letterman interview top newsmakers, while Dan Rather languishes on the bench. Rupert Murdoch may soon own the Wall Street Journal, which is only the most solid proof yet that there really is a terror threat to the nation’s financial institutions.
The only problem is that these times, more dangerous and complex than any we have ever known, beg for the old standards, the old ethics, the old skills and values.
Instead, the news is no longer a profession; it’s just another reality show.
Maybe that’s why the most serious presidential candidate in our eminent Democratic Party, Barack Obama, is a less-than-one-term senator, with more platitudes than ideas. But doesn’t he look good in a suit?
Our democracy weeps for its journalists, but settles for a bunch of fishwives and their foolish opinions.
Posted by on 06/08/07 at 07:00 AM | Comments (0)
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